Turning Back
by SongForEvela
Summary: The repercussions of Bella's attempted transformation profoundly alter the course of Edward's life, while the arrival of the Volturi force the remaining Cullens into a decision they never expected to make--to remain vampires or become human.
1. Chapter 1

"Something's wrong."

Edward's forceful words bring me back to consciousness. I feel pain but not the fiery pain of the transformation that I expected, and there is still the smell of blood threatening to pull me under again. My eyes are heavy, so heavy, but I manage to pull them open in search of his frantic voice.

He is standing away from me, further than I expected, further than I would have liked. Rigid and somehow not here. Not present.

"Edward?" Carlisle's voice, coming from somewhere close to me, near my head. He presses a bandage against the bleeding wound at my neck, and I wince, catching Carlisle's attention.

"Bella, how do you feel?" Carlisle's words are quick and nervous.

"I-I'm OK, I think. There's no pain. Not like James. Carlisle, did...did it not work?" My voice is hoarse and weak. I'm not sure that I have the strength to sit up, to stand up, but I need to. I need to go to Edward, to bring him back, but a tension in the air makes me hesitate. Something _is_ wrong.

Edward is standing in the middle of the room, eyes focused on some internal struggle waging within him. He is tense, body poised as if preparing an attack, but his fists are tightly balled at his side, braced with the force of restraining himself. I need him to look at me. I need him to tell me what's going on.

"Edward, w-what's wrong? Are you OK?" I manage to force my voice out around the lump in my throat.

His eyes find me, and there is such sadness in them that my eyes quickly spill over. He grimaces, and his pitch-black irises glaze over with pain and then a fear I have never seen in them.

"Carlisle, get her out of here. Please. I can't control..." His pleading voice is cut off as he quickly spins, grabs the large, black leather sofa behind him, and flings it through the glass windows of his room. The explosive sound of the glass shattering is a catalyst, springing the scene into action. The next moments are a blur. Edward's siblings burst into the room, the air erupts into snarls, and two strong hands grab me and swing me up into their arms. We are running.


	2. Chapter 2

The dark hotel room feels like a prison, and it is. Esme is with me, but we can offer each other little comfort. The past 48 hours have been the longest of my life; longer than getting to Italy, longer than waiting for Victoria. Nothing compares to the exhausting suspense of waiting for that small, black phone to ring, telling me he is OK. Because it will ring. He has to be OK.

Esme had been the one to grab me off the bed Edward and I share and bring me here. There has been no word from our family, no updates as to why Edward's attempt to change me has gone so horribly wrong. As we try to make some sense of what is happening, Esme and I recount again and again the series of events that led to our seclusion in this room, but we glean little understanding from them.

"He said, Esme, take Bella with you. Get away from Forks. Please be safe and don't come back until you hear from me," Esme repeats again, recalling Carlisle's words as if trying to will him into this room, to us, to her.

"I don't understand, Esme...why can't we go back? Edward wouldn't hurt me, I know that, but you said Emmet and Jasper had to hold him back. Maybe my scent, my blood was too much..." I choke on my words, feeling a heavy guilt screaming that I have driven Edward to lose control. I should never have insisted that he be the one to change me. I should have let Carlisle do it, and everything would have gone smoothly and safely. This is my own, selfish fault.

Esme moves to sit next to me on the bed, her arm circling my shoulders and her head resting on mine.

"Bella, maybe you're right, but it's been almost two days. You are far from Edward." Her voice falters. "He should have recovered by now."

And this is the moment that usually brings us both to near hysterical worry. If it is simply a matter of needing to clear his head of my scent, of the taste of my blood, why have we not heard from him? From anyone? What if Edward's loss of control led him to hurt our family? To hurt Carlisle? To hurt himself? When our thoughts lead here, it is too much. Too much pain. Too much fear.

And against these thoughts, the question as to why Edward's venom has not changed me mean nothing.

I have no idea of the time as I lift my head from the flat, motel pillow to glance at the digital clock next to the bed. It reads 12:42, and I assume that means AM considering the darkness outside the curtains. I reach a tentative hand up to the wound on my neck; it's still painful, but the bandage is intact. I can't remember if I've slept; if I have, it has been restless and full of the same waking nightmare I'm in now. I cannot take this senseless waiting, this inability to do anything.

Esme sits in an upholstered chair, in the opposite corner of the room, her knees drawn to her chest.

"Anything?" I ask. I cannot keep the trace of hope out of my voice.

She slowly shakes her head. Her eyes are unfathomably dark, not in color, but in hopelessness. That look seems impossible on her face, and I almost sigh in relief when she seems to remember herself, and a portion of the Esme I know returns.

"Bella, you should really eat something to keep your strength up. I ordered some lasagna from the restaurant downstairs, or there's also some fruit salad and yoghurt. The chef also supposedly makes excellent pancakes, if that sounds better, I could order you some..." She trails off and starts to busy herself with extracting packages of food from the mini-fridge.

"At 1 in the morning? I don't think room service runs around the clock." I attempt a weak smile. She's too compassionate; I don't deserve it. Despite her own worry and fear, she is still taking care of me, as a mother--my mother. And I have possibly taken her son away from her. Another son. Maybe other precious children. She walks to me, placing a hand on either side of my face.

"I would make them for you myself, if I could remember how." She returns my weak smile. I can tell that she is trying to lighten my fear, to take on more of it herself instead, and I will have none of it.

"Thanks, but I'm OK. I don't think I can stomach anything." I stand, wrapping my arms around her waist and resting my chin on her shoulder. We stand together briefly before a piercing sound fills the room. Esme's phone.


	3. Chapter 3

The phone makes it through a split second of ringing before Esme has it in her hand. She flips it open and holds it out to me. Although my entire body is trembling uncontrollably, I take it from her, holding it close to my ear but slightly angled outward so that Esme can hear more easily.

"Hello?" My voice is trembling along with my body. I grip the phone tighter, trying to still myself.

"Bella? Are you alright?" It is a voice but not the voice I most long to hear. Esme wraps her arm around my waist in obvious relief.

"We're alright, Carlisle, but what's going on? Is everyone OK? Is Edward OK?" The trembling in my voice is replaced with a fierce desperation.

"Everyone is alright. We are unharmed." He pauses. I don't know what this pause could mean; he said everyone was alright. "Bella, I don't know how to say this to you." His words seem ominous, but his voice...it just doesn't match. He seems wary, but there is also awe in his words.

"Please Carlisle, just say it, whatever it is. I can handle it." Can I?

I hear the resolve is his voice, the practiced doctor talking to concerned loved ones. "Edward has been through a lot in the past 48 hours. He has been in pain, but most of it has subsided now. He's...resting." I only hear the word pain. Pain from what? From fighting with his brothers? I have caused this pain, I'm sure of it.

"Can I talk to him?" I need to hear my husband's voice. I need to tell him I love him, that I'm sorry.

"Not right now, he's...well, Bella, he's unconscious."

The hysteria erupts out of my mouth. "What!? Carlisle, what's going on? How is he unconscious? Can that happen? To vampires?" I cannot fathom what he's telling me.

"No, not normally to vampires, no. But Bella, I believe Edward is...it's a miracle, Bella...I...

"Carlisle, just say it." He needs to just tell me. He sounds excited, exhausted and overwhelmed, but somehow elated. How?

"Human, Bella. Edward's human."

There is silence. Silence everywhere. I know my heart is pounding, but I can barely hear it. I can barely feel it as Esme leads me to the bed and gently makes me sit down. I hear Carlisle's words, but they make no sense. How can his words be true, when he is saying things I have never even dreamt were possible.

"I don't understand, Carlisle."

"I don't understand it myself, Bella, but it's happening. I have theories. I think you may have some genetic resistance to vampire abilities, considering your immunity against vampire powers that involve your mind. When James bit you, I think maybe it was like a booster vaccine. It heightened your resistance. When Edward bit you, that resistance was somehow passed to him, and his long dormant immune system fought against his vampirism. Fought and won, I think."

I cannot speak. There are no words.

Esme gently takes the phone from me.

"We'll be there in 20 minutes," she says.

* * *

The car ride back to the Cullen's house, our house, is another blur, the second time in the past two days where time ceased to exist and my memory failed me. Later Esme told me that I had simply stared out the window, tears streaming down my face, hands wringing in my lap. She had been scared, which I felt sorry for. I didn't mean to scare her. I must have retreated into some corner of my mind where things, where life, still made sense, to a time before Carlisle was claiming the impossible.

The first thing I remember is our bedroom door, standing at it, willing myself to put my hand on the knob and turn. To go in. To see him, what, sleeping? To hear his heart beating? To feel a warm hand in mine? I want all of these things, and I am so scared they are an illusion. I am so scared they won't last.

I finally take a steadying breath, turn the knob and go in. Esme is behind me. It's dark except for a small, weak lamp next to the bed, but the bed is not in it's normal place. It has been pushed into a far corner of the room, as far away as possible from the shattered window, now covered with plastic.

Figures move in the darkness. First, Alice is in front of me. She is unusually quiet but hugs me fiercely, almost knocking what shallow breath I have out of me.

"It's alright Bella. He's going to be alright. All is well," she whispers so quietly after what seems to be many minutes, tucking strands of hair behind my ears.

Alice moves to Esme, and I gasp slightly as Jasper gently places a hand on my arm. He's silent, but I immediately feel his calm, his sense of hope.

Emmet and Rosalie come to me as well. Emmett defies the hushed, still room and give one sharp, yet muted laugh before pulling me roughly into a hug. "Life with you never ceases to be exciting, does it Bella?" And Rosalie, well, Rosalie hesitates. Our eyes meet, and her look is complicated. She isn't ready to take all of this in, it says.

At last, I move towards the bed. The light is so dim, and my eyes are endlessly welling up, but I can just make out a mass of tousled, copper hair on a pillow, and a figure that must be Carlisle sitting next to the bed. Carlisle looks up at Esme and I as we approach. He is at us in two strides and has first Esme and then me in his arms.

He takes one of our hands in each of his. I can see Edward's prostrate form in my peripheral vision, but it is too much; I cannot look at him yet. He is a mirage I am afraid will disappear.

"This is a lot to take in, I know," Carlisle says quietly. I know he speaks mostly to me. "He's still unconscious, and I don't think we should try and wake him. His body...needs to recover. I have him on IV fluids to try and restore some blood volume, and his heart rate and respiration are high but still within normal limits considering the stress his body has been under."

I nod, staying focused on Carlisle. "I have so many questions..." I manage to choke out in a whisper, "I still don't understand how this happened, and you s-said, on the phone earlier, that he was in pain?" I shudder. I hate the idea.

"He was, Bella, for a time." Carlisle frowns. "But there will be time for questions later. Sit with him, be with him for a while. On some level, he'll know you're here, and I think that will be good for him." With a final squeeze, Carlisle gently releases my hand, using it to pull Esme closer to his side.

"We'll be close," he says as they move into the darkness of the room.

And then Edward and I are alone. As I take the few steps to bring me closer to the bed, I feel a million emotions overwhelm me. Love, of course. Always love. I would love Edward, this man, in any form. Relief. Relief that despite the uncertainty of what lies ahead, Edward is safe. His family is safe. Happiness, even wild elation that Edward and I are finally in the same world, the same realm. No, it isn't the future we expected, it is not even a future either of us thought was possible, but I find myself unexpectedly excited by our new possibilities.

But the minute these feelings wash through me, something cuts them off. Fear. What if this is not the future Edward wants? My heart starts to thud in my ears, filling the silence of the room. How could I have possibly thought that Edward would want this? This clumsy, slow existence as a human after the speed and grace of being a vampire? My hands are clammy, and I feel a dizzying panic rise in my throat. And the loss of his immortality? He is now just as fragile and breakable as me, and someday...he will die. I know that even death cannot separate us, but I know Edward has different feelings about the future of his soul. How could I have ever thought that Edward would want to be human?

"Calm down, Bella," I whisper to myself, closing my eyes against the panic. _Edward and I will work through this. Maybe if he wants to turn back...We can try. I'll talk to Carlisle. Maybe this strange immunity Carlisle has spoken of won't last...maybe Edward can be changed back, if that's what he wants._ But I cannot shake the despair I feel at this possibility. I have never even considered a human future with Edward, but now that it's possible, I want it badly.

But more than that, I want Edward.

I come to the edge of the bed. Looking down, I see Edward's hand resting above the gold comforter, can hear his quiet but rapid breathing. I reach a hand out to touch his, and I let my fingertips run along the back of his hand, savoring the warmth. I try to wall off the pleasure at that feeling. Now that I feel certain Edward will not want to stay human, I try so hard not to love that warmth. To not imagine how it would feel to have the entire length of his warm body pressed against mine. Before I can stop myself, I let my fingers trail up his arm, to his left shoulder, then to that spot over his chest that I have never given much attention to. I bend to press my ear to it, listening to his heart's steady, strong rhythm. It is the most beautiful sound in the world.

"Edward," I breathe as I raise my eyes to his face. Not meaning to wake him, but just needing to say his name out loud. To hear it. "I'm here." I take his warm hand in mine.

He stirs in his sleep. "Bella..."


	4. Chapter 4

"Bella." His weak, distant voice sounds as if it is searching, and the ache in it feels deep and heavy.

"Edward, I'm here," I say again. "Love, I'm here. I'm right here." I squeeze his hand harder and brush a few unruly strands of hair from his forehead.

As quickly as he came back to me, he slips away, his face going slack as the unconsciousness pulls him under. Pain shoots through the area around my heart, the area that was once occupied by a giant, gaping hole in Edward's absence. I hate him slipping away from me.

"Carlisle," I try to call quietly, "He woke up, for a second...Is that...Is he ok?"

Carlisle and Esme are there immediately. Carlisle gently reaches for the hand clutched in mine and takes Edward's pulse, then slips the stethoscope from around his neck and checks his breathing.

"He's holding steady, Bella. But I'd like to take some blood soon to check his organ functions. That will give me some more information."

Esme moves to stand behind me, her gentle hands smoothing my hair. I try to let her calm me, but I need to speak the next words. They are burning my throat. "He's going to be OK, right? I mean, has Alice seen..." I can't finish my question. I don't want to know all of the future, not yet.

"Yes, he's going to be alright. He's going to recover."

I nod, not wanting to hear more. To know that he is going to come back to me is enough, no matter what comes after Edward's recovery.

I lose track of time as I sit on the edge of the bed, holding Edward's hand in my lap. Carlisle comes and goes as the hours pass, taking blood, checking Edward's pulse, his temperature, hovering around Edward's bed as doctors do. Edward's siblings check in periodically too, although we say little to each other. I feel inexplicably nervous around them, like some distance has been wedged between us. How do they feel about Edward's change? Do they feel I have taken their brother away from them? My head spins with questions.

Exhaustion overtakes me as a grey morning light leaks around the curtains, and I decide to try and sleep. As much as I want to curl up around Edward, I worry it will disturb him, so Esme helps me set up a makeshift cot near the bed. She also brings up a bowl of soup, and I am forced to eat it.

Late afternoon sun wakes me after several hours, and I quietly stand, stretching stiff and still tired limbs. A steady beam of light pours in through a crack in the curtains, illuminating Carlisle as he sits, watchful, in a chair next to the bed. Alice sits on the floor, her pensive form curled inward as she leans her back against the bed, knees pulled to her chest.

"How is he?" I ask, as I move to sit beside Edward on the bed, taking his hand again. Alice steadily meets my eyes and smiles weakly. Something is bothering her.

"He's doing well. His heart rate is slowing more towards normal, and I stopped the IV fluids about an hour ago. I think he should wake up soon," Carlisle replies.

"He _will _wake up soon," Alice adds, opening her eyes from one of her visions. A look of relief flashes across her features.

I feel the questions start to well up from where I buried them. Now that I have slept some, my head feels a little clearer. I'm not ready to ask all of my questions, but I do finally feel ready to hear about Edward's transformation. If Edward is going to wake up soon, I want to know what he has been through.

"What happened?" I try to keep my words just above a whisper. I know they both could hear me.

"Well, Edward's stronger than I gave him credit for, I'll give you that." Emmett's jovial voice startles me. I turn quickly to see the remaining four Cullens standing at the foot of the bed; of course I didn't hear them come in. Esme pulls up a chair next to Carlisle, and Jasper lowers himself to the floor next to Alice. Emmet remains standing with Rosalie at the end of the bed. Her eyes focus on Edward's face.

I look back to Carlisle to start the explanation.

"Well, as you probably remember, Bella, Edward seemed to lose control after he...bit you."

"Yes, I remember him throwing the couch through the window." I look towards the broken window, and can still hear the crash of the shattered glass. I look down at the hand in mine. "Was it my...blood? Was he trying to not bite me again?"

"No...I don't think it was as simple as that." Carlisle squints in thoughtful concentration, finding the right words for the explanation. "It was as if the vampire within him had taken complete control of his body. It was a similar reaction as when we hunt, but even more exaggerated. He was pure instinct. I think he could feel the loss of control coming on, which is why he wanted you out of the room as quickly as possible. "

"It wouldn't have been safe for you," Alice quietly adds.

I look to Alice to continue; it seems as if she needs to say more.

"I saw it all a split second before it happened," she murmurs. "We were downstairs, and I could see that everything was proceeding normally, Bella. I saw you becoming a vampire, joining our family, and then, all of a sudden, _everything_ was different." Her voice becomes more agitated, getting louder. "The vision was so powerful I could literally feel Edward lose control. He was going to hurt you, he was going to hurt everybody that came up against him. It was like his newborn strength and instinct had returned in an instant."

"Like I said, stronger than we gave him credit for," Emmett adds, "But Jasper, Carlisle, Alice, Rosalie and I were able to hold him down. We spent the next 24 hours _literally_ holding him down." Emmett lets out a soft chuckle. "Boy, when he wakes up, he's gonna owe me one."

My mind is reeling. It is so hard to reconcile the image of an uncontrollable Edward, an Edward strong enough to almost best four members of his family, with the unconscious form now in front of me. He _has_ been through a lot in the past two and a half days.

Carlisle continues with the story. "We waited for Edward to calm. He was lucid, more himself, for short periods of time. He seemed most present when we would talk to him, trying to keep him with us. As that first night and day wore on, he was able to regain control more frequently."

"Was he...did he know what was happening to him?" I ask.

"I...don't know, Bella." Carlisle looks down at his hands folded in his lap. "I...he was certainly not himselfduring his more frenzied periods, but when he became more quiet, more still, that's when we seemed to sense his return to us. But he didn't really respond to our questions, no." Carlisle remains looking down, his normally rigid posture slightly slumped. "He was very...lost."

I swallow a lump in my throat. "That must have been so hard for you. And him." I look around at his family. There is a heaviness in their expressions, such sadness. I don't know what to say, and a silence settles over our discussion.

"And I certainly wasn't helping much." Alice's biting tone breaks the stillness. She turns to me, and her look is stricken. "I couldn't see it, Bella, I couldn't see Edward's future after that first moment. It disappeared, just like futures do when they include the werewolves." Alice is obviously frustrated. "I hatethat my power can fail us just when we need it most..."

I instantly want to comfort her, but Jasper is there first. "Alice, don't put that burden on yourself. " He places a hand on her knee, and her tension visibly evaporates. Jasper then turns towards me. "Edward was immune to my powers too, Bella. I couldn't calm him. I couldn't even read him. It was...unnerving."

This is new. There have been a few times in the past where Alice's visions malfunctioned or ceased altogether--either the future included the werewolves or other vampires knew of her power and could manipulate it--but never have Jasper's powers been derailed.

"I don't understand..."

"Again, we only have theories, Bella," Carlisle clarifies. "Perhaps the resistance to vampirism you transferred to Edward temporarily affected his susceptibility to vampire powers. Edward's body was fighting his vampirism so strongly, causing Alice and Jasper's power to short circuit, if you will. It certainly seems to work that way with the werewolves. They have an innate abhorrence of vampires, and this gives them resistance to Alice's power."

"But...Alice, you just said that Edward would wake up soon. You can see his future now?"

"Yes, as soon as he became fully human, I was able to see his future. Some of it at least." She looks at me pointedly, questioning whether I want her to continue.

"No, that's enough." My abrasive tone startles even me. I turn apologetically to Alice. "I'm sorry, it's just...I'm not ready yet. To hear..."

She nods in understanding.

I take a deep, steadying breath, concentrating on the beautiful form asleep next to me. This is a lot to absorb, but I need to absorb it for Edward's sake. I need to understand what he has been through, what I have caused him to go through, possibly for nothing if a human future is not what he wants. I push forward.

"So, Edward's loss of control lasted about a day? What happened during the second day?"

No one answers. The Cullens, even Carlisle, seem to shift uncomfortably, unwilling to meet my gaze.

"Edward was in pain, Bella."

This is a voice I haven't heard yet. Rosalie. Her stare staggers me, and I look away. She is upset, no beyond upset. Confused, angry, fascinated and harboring a burning desire just below the surface. I suddenly know what she wants; what her baffling expression means. She wishes she was in Edward's place.

"Pain?" I murmur. I stare into Edward's face, wanting desperately to block all sound, willing the silence of a few moments ago to return. The tension in the air makes my heart pound.

"Yes, pain. Pain that eclipses every other feeling, erases all reason." Her tone is dark, but she seems to be steeling herself against the darkness, as if preparing to face it. "Pain that makes you crazy. But Edward recovered and...so will we..." She speaks with such finality.

"Cut the dramatics, Rose!" Alice's anger erupts suddenly. "They're completely unnecessary."

"Alice..." Carlisle's voice is a warning, and he shoots a pointed glance at Jasper.

"What! She's jumping to conclusions!" Alice turns back to Rosalie, glaring. "What do you mean _we_? There's no we, there's just you, and you're pretending that Bella has no say in this whatsoever. That you can just bite her, and _poof_, you're human. It doesn't work that way."

Rosalie glares back. "Of course I'm not going to bite Bella this second, how _dare_ you suggest that. But you can't deny what this means for our family, what this means to me. This is what I've wanted, what I've craved for nearly a century, and I'm not letting it go."

"Do you ever think about anyone other than yourself? Maybe this isn't what everyone wants!" Alice's near-shout deflates her in an instant, knocking the wind and the fight out of her. After stealing a quick glance at me, one I can't read, she turns inward again, pressing herself against Jasper's side.

And it suddenly hits me. Alice must be talking about Edward. She has seen Edward's decision and knows he will not want this. He will not want to be human. I close my eyes and concentrate on breathing.

"Bella, look."

Esme's soft, anxious voice at my shoulder brings me back. The last rays of the setting sun splay across the golden comforter, surrounding the bed in a vibrant, orange light. In the middle of this warm glow, a figure stirs, beginning to stretch limbs, his face pulled into an expression of concentration. An eye cracks open, quickly shutting again, squinting against the sun.

Someone, Emmett moves to draw the curtains closed, dulling the light.

"Edward? You can open your eyes now. We're here." Esme says, love radiating from her voice. I grip Edward's hand and press it to my heart, suddenly nervous.

Edward's eyes slowly open, and he scans the room, taking in all of his family before finding my face. I gasp at the new, brilliant green of his irises--different, but burning with the same intensity as the eyes I know. He is still my Edward.

He takes a shaky breath and reaches for me with the hand not clutched tightly in mine, running his hand up my arm, to my shoulder to cup my face as I lean over him.

"Bella?"

"I'm here. I love you." I press my lips to his palm, feeling the wetness of my tears against his skin.

His trembling hand moves to the bandage on my neck, to the wound that has completely slipped my mind.

"Are you alright? Are you hurt?" His voice is so quiet, I can barely breathe for fear of not hearing him.

"I'm fine," I whisper, caressing his face with my free hand. Of course he is concerned for me first before giving his own condition a passing thought. His eyes burn into mine, questioning my answer, willing me to tell him the truth.

"Edward, how do you feel?" Carlisle's question breaks Edward's gaze, and he slowly turns to his father.

"Weak." His own answer confuses him. "A little dizzy..."

Edward turns back to me and tries to pull me closer.

"You're too far away," he murmurs.

Edward may have lost his vampire strength, but none is needed to pull me into him. I fall easily and slide underneath the comforter so that there is no barrier between us. I'm not conscious of the rest of our family as they leave the room, but I suddenly know that Edward and I are alone. As he pulls me on top of him, I feel his arms tighten around me, not as tight as in the past, but sure and strong and safe. I'm crying and he is kissing my face, my neck, my lips. Deep, languid kisses that leave me dizzy and breathless, whispering my name endlessly as his lips press against my body. His hands caress me everywhere, and their warmth melts every spot they touch. He is everywhere. He is everything.

The room is enveloped in near-darkness when we finally still, most of the light coming from the weak bedside lamp. I lift my head just slightly from his chest, just enough to see his face but not enough to put any space between our bodies welded together. His green eyes are wet, and tear tracks leak from the corners of them, down across his temples, to the pillow beneath his head.

"I missed you," he whispers. "I feel like I haven't seen you in weeks."

"I missed you, too." He traces my spine with his fingertips, rubbing slow circles along the skin of my lower back.

"Edward, do you remember..." I stumble. "Do you remember what happened?"

Confusion passes across his features as his hands still. His eyes are questioning, innocent as they bore into mine. But then a memory surfaces, and his eyes widen in alarm.

He struggles to sit up, frantic.

"Edward, it's OK." I try to hold back a sob, but it's useless.

He pushes himself up to sitting, with me straddling him and grips my face in his hands.

"Bella, I bit you." His face contorts in pain.

"Yes, of course you did," I try to console, "That's what we planned. My transformation..."

"But something went wrong..." Edward recalls this revelation as if pulling it forth from the long distant past, the words slow at first and then gaining speed. "I wanted...I wanted to hurt you. I couldn't control..._anything_. My family was with me, but I only remember flashes of them. I couldn't get to them, I couldn't answer their questions. And then there was...pain, a lot of pain, like my transformation..." His eyes squeeze shut, and he trails off.

I nod mutely.

His eyes find me again, and they are afraid. "Bella, I don't remember anything after that...I...where have I been? What's happened to me?"

I reach my fingertips to his questioning lips, then cup his face before settling my palm against his heart. I stare into Edward's face. "You don't know?"

He shakes his head, eyes pleading for answers. I remove my hand from his heart and use it to press _his _hand against the miraculous beating in his chest.

"Feel," I say.

It takes him a few moments to realize what I'm asking. Of course he is confused; why would he expect to find a beating heart in his chest? In the moment that he finally feels his heartbeat, his face softens, and the tension in his body releases its heavy load. He reaches for me, kissing me softly.

"Oh my God," Edward murmurs against my lips, breathless.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I did increase the rating of this chapter for some sensual, but not overly descriptive, scenes. **

"Oh my God, Bella," Edward whispers again. His breath hitches as he utters these words, and his trembling body crumples against me. We fall back into bed, clutching each other, and Edward buries his head against my shoulder.

After a while he quiets, except for an occasional quivering breath. I try to just be with him, to savor this moment, to silence the screaming questions in my head. But they prove louder than my patience.

"Edward," I begin hesitantly, "I know this is a lot to absorb..."

A soft chuckle. "You could say that again..."

I smile weakly despite the nerves firing in every region of my body, making me jittery. Words are fighting their way out of my mouth, but I force myself to wait a few moments, giving him the chance to speak if he wants. But Edward remains quiet, breathing against my shoulder, clutching my body to him as if clinging to a life preserver.

"We should talk to Carlisle. If this is...not what you want, then maybe...I don't know, maybe we could try..." The words suddenly stop coming, catching on my tongue. "To change you back." I freeze and wait for his answer.

His words are swift, urgent, spoken without a moment's hesitation. "No, I don't want that Bella." He lifts his head from my shoulder and peers intently into my face. I feel exposed, laid completely bare.

"You don't?" I venture.

"No." He seems baffled. "Do you?" Worry lines bridge the space between his eyebrows.

"Edward, I want us to be together. That's all I've ever wanted."

"We _are_ together."

"I know..." I can't meet the intensity of his gaze. He's burning holes in me.

"Then what is there to question?" he says gently, pulling me on to my side so that we lay facing each other. "Bella, what's wrong?"

I take a deep breath. "I just thought, that maybe you would _miss _being a vampire. Miss the strength, the speed..."

He cuts me off. "Bella, none of that matters. None of that has ever mattered. You, _you_, are everything to me."

"But you were so quiet, after you realized..."

"I know, I'm sorry, it was a lot to take in." He pulls me to him, pressing his lips to my forehead. "But I'm happy, Bella, so happy." A soft laugh bubbles out of Edward's chest, blowing strands of hair away from my forehead. "I told you once that if there were any way to become human for you, I would do it."

He pulls back slightly to look at me, and there is no trace of doubt in his emerald eyes. I believe him.

"So much seems possible now," he says with awe. "There is so much I want to give you. I want to really_ be_ with you, with nothing between us. No danger, no fear of hurting you. I want to let all of that go..."

He slides his hand down over my hip, then moves back up along my back and into my hair. "I could so easily fall into you. I want to. All I want is you."

"I want you, too." I whisper.

"You don't regret what's happened?" He loosens his hold on my body slightly, unsure. "This didn't exactly go as we planned."

"No regrets." I don't let him put any distance between us as I wrap my arms more firmly around his neck. "I want you to be able to let go, too."

I press my lips to his, and he immediately deepens the kiss, slowly touching his tongue to mine. A shock courses through me, and I grip him. This is so new, not the feelings running through me at his kiss, but the _way_ he's kissing me. My breath grows more ragged as his tongue explores mine, tentative at first, but then overcome. He moans, and I feel the desire course through us like electricity. I press my hips against him, and to my astonishment, he meets them impatiently, his defenses so easily overwhelmed.

"God, Bella." He moves his mouth to my neck." I want..."

"Hmm?" The word sounds more like a moan than speech.

"I want...to really make love to you."

His words send my heart soaring. Our lovemaking since the night of the wedding has been wonderful--shy, passionate as we've learned each other's bodies and our own, but somewhat muted, less inhibited as I know we both want. Edward still doesn't completely trust himself to keep me safe, although I have never felt more secure than when he touches me. Making love to him is like losing and completing myself at the same time, but Edward holds back; afraid if he loses himself for one moment, he will hurt me. During our honeymoon, on one of those nights where the closeness of the air makes it difficult to breathe, with a thunderstorm rumbling through the mountains surrounding our cabin, he _had_ let go. But after coming apart inside me, he had said it was "too good," as if he didn't deserve that much release. Since then, he has been more content to focus on me, only occasionally letting me explore his body the way he endlessly craves exploring mine.

I gently roll Edward on to his back and leave a trail of kisses from his neck to his stomach, lifting the bottom hem of his t-shirt to press my lips to the groove below his hip bones. He is so warm, so soft, and the sounds escaping his mouth, my whispered name on his lips send amazing shivers through my body. So strange that I shiver now, now that all cold is gone, and there is only warm, glowing fire between us.

"Bella...wait."

Edward reaches for my face, and I crawl back up to him on trembling limbs. The urgency between us begins to dissipate with the look of slight concern on his face.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm more than alright. The feel of you..." He brushes my tangled hair from my face. "I'm just..." His head falls back on the pillow. "Still a little dizzy, that's all." His crooked smile doesn't quite reach his eyes.

I take a breath to call for Carlisle, but Edward stops me with fingers pressed to my lips.

"Wait, not yet."

"Edward..." I warn, "You're a little more breakable, now. We should take it slow. I shouldn't have rushed you like that."

"Love, I don't think you were the only one rushing."

"True," I smile, "Those pesky human hormones, always making trouble."

Edward softly laughs. "They're impatient, aren't they."

"We should still call..." I can't shake my worry.

"I know," he says, "go ahead."

* * *

Days pass, and they are days filled with more discovery than I thought possible within a typical human existence.

Edward is fascinated by the world around him as if it is brand new. His senses lack the sharpness he's used to, but Edward seems to love these softer edges. He says the world is no longer overbearing, no longer constantly bombarding his eyes and ears with information. Other voices are gone from his head and have been replaced with a very human ability to be able to tell, but not _actually_ know, what someone is thinking. Smell no longer drives a constant thirst, and he buries his nose in my hair at every possible moment, happy to just breathe me in. Just me. No other desires churning beneath the surface.

And taste. Taste is like an undiscovered country. The Cullen kitchen has never seen such action, as I've been cooking for Edward nearly every day of his recovery.

Carlisle thinks his recovery will take time. He says Edward's body is brand new in some ways. Tissue is regenerating and healing, which requires energy that saps Edward's strength. He's up and walking now but is still weak. One of our evening rituals is to take a walk to the river behind the house and back. Riveting, I know, but it slowly marks his progress. We wrap ourselves in the quilt I brought from my old home and set out into the evening, pressing against each other to stay warm in the fall chill. Each evening, he leans on me a little less and we meander through the darkness, relishing in the person by our side. All barriers gone.

Edward and I are happy, but life is not entirely at peace in the Cullen household, or at least, not all members of the Cullen family are feeling exactly peaceful. Despite their shared relief that Edward is recovering, tension runs high among Edward's siblings, particularly between Rosalie and Alice. Unspoken words teeter on the edge of every conversation, and no one seems to want to be the first to speak, especially in Edward's presence for fear of upsetting him before he's fully recovered. Despite his still heightened perception of his family's thoughts, Edward pretends to be oblivious, and I don't have the heart to broach the subject with him. I know he wants to pretend our world is normal, to give me my normal human life.

Buthe _must_ be thinking what everyone else is. What no one will say.

Our lives are _not_ normal. My blood can potentially turn vampires back to their human selves, and I live in a house with six vampires, one of which has never been quiet about her desire for a human existence. Our family faces a choice, a choice they never expected to make, yet I feel as if we're standing at a precipice where decisions must be made. And made soon because our lives never remain normal for long.


	6. Chapter 6

I realize the water is too hot just as it burns me.

"Ouch." I yank my hand out from under the faucet, the soapy water glass in my hand suddenly a weapon as I accidentally fling it at Edward next to me. It misses his bare feet by an inch as it shatters against our kitchen floor.

"Bella? Are you alright?" Of course he's more concerned for me than his nearly massacred feet.

"Yeah, I just didn't realize the water was so hot. It burned me a little."

"Let me see."

I hold out my index finger, and Edward inspects it briefly before wrapping it in his fist.

"Oh, that doesn't really work anymore does it," he chuckles. "Let's try this." He turns on the cold water, and I stick my throbbing finger underneath it.

He wraps his arms around my waist, kissing my temple. "Better?"

"Much better."

"What were you thinking about just then? You seem a little distracted," he probes gently.

Edward is blatantly giving me an in, a wide open opportunity to bring up the turmoil that has plagued the Cullen household for the past two weeks, but I don't want to ruin our perfect evening with distressing talk.

"I was thinking about...this amazing meal we made together..."

"_You_ made."

"No, that's not true, you helped with the chopping, and I think your chocolate cake has potential."

"Bella, it was disgusting."

"Disgusting is such a strong word. _Interesting_, maybe. I'm sure someone somewhere likes chocolate and tomatoes together, we just happen...to not like them?"

He laughs. "Right. You're way too forgiving, but I appreciate it."

He makes a move to step into me and pull me into his arms, but I hold him back.

"Wait, Edward the glass."

"Oh, right. I...forgot." Not that the glass was there, but that he can't walk through it remains unspoken between us.

"I've got flip-flops on. I'll get it."

I hurry to the hall closet, searching for the broom hidden there. I know it's buried somewhere but considering how neat and tidy the Cullen's house was before I and my clumsiness joined the family, it's probably buried deep. Anxious to continue our light conversation, I search for something that will distract me from the more pressing, difficult issues I know we should be talking about.

"You're actually a good cook, you know." I call out to Edward.

"I can follow recipes, but improvisation is _obviously _not by specialty."

Finding the broom, I return to the kitchen and start sweeping. With the glass finally gone, our perfect meal and perfect night is able to continue.

"Can I come hold you, now?" Edward asks, still poised next to the sink.

"Of course, Mr. Cullen."

"Why, thank you, Mrs. Cullen."

He walks to me as I lean the broom against the kitchen table. I expect him to gently wrap his arms around me, but instead his arms are insistent and strong. I briefly wonder if this is how he always wanted to hold me but was afraid to.

"We have the house to ourselves, you know," he whispers. He's taunting, teasing me as his hands wander beneath my shirt to the small of my back.

"Hmmm..." I half hum, half sigh, dimly remembering that yes, the rest of our family left for a hunting trip, their first since Edward's change. I unzip Edward's hoodie and snake a tentative finger under the hem of his T-shirt to brush his stomach. "That sound was a yes, in case you were wondering." I smile.

I become more bold with my hands, and he gasps as they find the skin of his hips. "I still love the heat of you," he says, his voice shaking slightly. "It somehow still surprises me."

"I love the heat of you, too."

"Do you?" His hands roam further, one splays across my back, holding me to his body, the other traces a tantalizing line on my stomach, asking permission to travel further down.

I sigh again through the haze of his hands on me.

"Is that also a yes?" He's laughing now, softly against the skin at my shoulder.

"Yes." I use all of my strength to pull him to me, and for once it works, my arms circling his back, my lips crashing into his. We are both impatient, and he lifts me up into his arms, running his hands down my hips and legs as I wrap them around him. The desire bubbles so quickly up and out of us, and as I feel him against me, I give a silent thanks that we can act on it now. No more waiting, fumbling, wanting what we can not have. It is ours.

He lowers me gently on to the kitchen table, hastily brushing a newspaper and a couple dishes to the floor. The crash of them startles me, and we laugh.

"Bella, is this alright? His breath is heavy, and he's trembling. "Would you rather be upstairs?"

"No, I want you here."

Edward's smile melts everything inside of me. "Good."

And then he's kissing me, deep, rough kisses that I know will leave my lips red and swollen with him. I grab the hem of his T-shirt, the hoodie long-since discarded, and he helps me wrangle it off of him. Edward pushes my thermal shirt up, past my stomach and plants moist, desperate kisses there before quickly moving to the damp skin between my breasts. I'm sweating now with just the tension of wanting him.

We wrestle with my shirt. It sticks to my arms and chest as Edward finally peels it off of me, and he immediately reaches for the clasp of my bra, apparently impatient for my nakedness. Our chests heave in unison, his breath is my own, and I want all of him against me. I reach for the button on his jeans.

"Bella, wait." He steadies my hand with his. He's trying to catch his breath. "I wanted to do this slowly, to take our time...I..."

He cannot talk us out of this. "Edward, I want that too, at some point...but not now. Please, not now." I feel like begging him to take me but clamp my jaw shut. This has to be right for him, too. "We have all the time in the world for slow."

He smiles down at me. "You're right. I don't want to wait anymore."

His hands are on my jeans now, and despite the trembling that racks both our bodies, he has them off of me in blinding speed. He briefly moves away from me to shed his own, and then it is just us, his body pressed against me so tightly I can barely breathe. He is closer than he has ever been.

I squirm against him, desperate for an even greater closeness. "Edward..."

"I know..."

He buries himself deep inside me as his hands tangle in my hair. The moan that escapes his lips at that moment shakes the center of me. It is like a cry of joy and anguish together. He waits the span of two breaths before beginning to move, first a gentle rocking then quickly more frantic, and I have a momentary fear that maybe the table will not hold us. I meet him roughly, spreading my hands out above my head to try and find some tether to this world, but his hands find mine, and he is my anchor. Our passion has escalated so quickly, so fiercely, and I already feel his need for release in his hands, in the back of his thighs as my heels dig into them, in the frenzied kisses he rains on my face and neck.

"Edward, it's ok." I gasp.

His voice is desperate at my ear. "Bella...you feel..."

"Let go."

"Bella...I..."

He stifles a moan against my breast, and I arch into him, bringing him even further towards the center of me. This is enough to unravel him, and he is clinging to me, all tension and tight muscles, fingers clasped so tightly in mine, strangled, beautiful sounds against my shoulder. After the full force of it passes, his hips spasm against me, and his breath is shaky, "I love you," and he begins to come down. I move my hips slowly, gently against his, unwilling to stop the movement just yet, wanting him to feel everything I feel when he makes me come undone like this.

We breathe together for a few moments, then he releases my hands only to bring them to my face, my lips. Our bodies are still molded together.

"Bella...that was..." His voice is still trembling, his face spent.

"Pretty amazing." I smile up at him.

"I've wanted you like this for a very long time."

His happiness makes me giddy. "On our kitchen table?" I tease.

He laughs breathlessly. "Well, that too."

* * *

Edward sleeps soundly, curled into my back, his breathing slow and even. He clutches me in his sleep, as if I might disappear if we're not touching. As if someone might sneak into our bedroom at night and whisk me away, and Edward would never know. But despite the comfort I find sleeping in Edward's arms, restlessness will not let me go tonight, and I lay awake, staring out at nothing.

I know it frightens him a little to sleep without me, so I feel guilty as I slip out from under the protective arm wrapped around my waist. Somehow I manage to find our bedroom door in the darkness without crashing into anything major, and I tiptoe down the stairs.

I'm halfway to the fridge, irrationally thinking that maybe some of the chocolate ice cream we have stashed in the freezer will lull me to sleep, when I catch a glimpse of a small, dark shape against the living room windows.

I let out a strangled cry before she is at me, her cold hand pressed over my mouth.

"Don't wake your sleeping beauty upstairs, Bella," she whispers.

I sag in her arms on trembling legs, my heart making a valiant effort to explode out of my chest. "Holy crow, Alice! You just about killed me!" I gasp back.

She wraps her arm around my waist and leads me into the living room, guiding me to the couch. We both sink into it, and Alice pulls her knees to her chest, her posture nervous and edgy.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I thought you both were asleep."

"Are you OK? I thought you guys were hunting?"

"Everyone else stayed. I came back early." She seems wary about meeting my eyes, finding everywhere to look besides at me.

"Jasper didn't come back with you? Alice, what's going on?"

"You know what's going on, Bella."

_Great, she wants me to be the one to say it._ I think. _Excellent._ Part of me knows that nothing will be the same after this conversation. As much as Edward and I love our normal life, it cannot remain the same. We cannot run from what the rest of our family is going through.

I resign myself, taking a deep breath. "So...my blood turns vampires back into humans, which definitely means something to Rosalie and maybe to the rest of you. But no one wants to talk about it because they don't want to upset Edward, or maybe me... But we need to talk about it because there's far too much tension in this house and we're all going to crack."

"Bingo."

We both laugh a little with relief.

"Wow, that felt really good to say."

"Yeah, I bet." Her tone turns serious. "Thank you for saying it."

"No problem."

I wait for Alice to say something, but she's remaining stubbornly silent. Her body is poised as if ready to spring.

"Alice, I thought we were gonna talk about..."

She launches herself off the couch and starts pacing in front of me, the words flowing so fast I can barely keep up. "What does she know? I mean, she thinks it's going to be this easy transition back to being human just because it's been pretty easy for Edward. But she _remembers_ things, Bella. She remembers some semblance of a life before this, and I..." She breaks off abruptly, covering her mouth with her hand.

I want to wrap my arms around her, but I'm not sure if that's what she wants. "Alice, I'm trying to follow, I am, but you have to help me a little...Are you talking about Rosalie?"

She looks back at me and crosses her arms across her chest. "Yes."

"So...you don't agree with her? You would rather...not turn back?"

She stares at me, and in that single moment I think I see every possible emotion flash across her face before one of utter determination wins out. "No, I would rather not."

"Can I ask why?"

"Bella, I was crazy as a human. Locked in an asylum crazy. Who knows whether I'll be any different now? And my visions, Bella. They sometimes feel like such part of me...They brought me to our family, they brought me Jasper, I depend on them, and I don't know who I am without them."

"Alice, you are much more than your visions. But if they're that important to you, maybe you'll keep them. I don't know, I mean you were at the asylum for a reason. Maybe you were already seeing the future, which a hundred years ago would've been considered pretty crazy."

"But that doesn't explain why I remember nothing, _nothing_ about my life as a human..."

"Maybe they had you drugged, or something..."

She lets out a sigh of resignation and returns to the couch beside me. "Those are too many maybes, Bella. How can I risk it? How can I risk losing everyone I care about? Losing myself?"

I have no answer for this, and we sit in silence for several moments. She has a perfectly reasonable argument and fears that anyone in her situation would have.

"What does Jasper want?"

"Jasper wants what I want. He says he'll never leave me, even if I do turn into a crazy human. He says he'll bring me back." She smiles at this, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. "But if I want to remain a vampire, he'll stay with me.

"Maybe we're completely jumping ahead of ourselves, though." She's agitated again and resumes pacing in front of the couch. "We don't even know if you can change us. Maybe it's some freak thing that will only work on Edward. And the Volturi, when they get wind of this, who _knows_..."

She suddenly gasps and her eyes glaze over.

"Alice? Alice!" Alarmed, I go to her, placing my hands on her ridged, unmoving shoulders.

After a minute of my heart fighting its way out of my chest, her eyes refocus, and her look to me is panicked.

"They're coming."

I can barely speak. I know who's coming, but I have to ask. "Who?"

"Aro, Demetri, others. Many others."

I can barely speak above a whisper. "Why now?"

"Demetri has lost Edward. He can't track him anymore."

I briefly rack my brain for memories of Demetri. _The tracker. He can track a person's mind. _

"It's as if...Edward is dead to Demetri. They're curious and want to investigate." She goes to her bag left by the front door, immediately pulling a black phone from it.

I follow her into the entryway, stammering. "No, they can't come here, Alice. They can't find Edward. Not now. Not now, that he's..." I find my voice, and it's furious. _How dare they threaten my home, my family._ "I won't let them touch Edward."

"Bella, I know you love Edward, but we _are_ talking about a small army of vampires, here."

"How much time do we have?"

"3 days."

The phone is at her ear.


	7. Chapter 7

Somehow I knew this day would come. I only thought that when it finally did arrive, they would be coming for me, not him.

_Oh, God, not him. _

Alice is outside, speed-talking into the small black phone, and I huddle on the couch, knees pulled to my chest as if they can hold my heart in. I fight the desire to dash upstairs, wrap Edward in my arms and pretend all of this isn't happening. Only I know we can only pretend for so long until danger catches up with us. It always catches up with us.

I feel a bitterness rising, too, but it's weary and I push it back into the dark place from which it leaked. For a fleeting moment, though, it escapes, and I wish things had gone the way they were supposed to. Edward and I could have faced the Volturi together, as husband and wife, vampire and newborn vampire.

I shake my head, trying desperately to clear these thoughts. They take us nowhere, only to a place where I still can't protect Edward, and worse than that, he can't protect himself.

"Bella?" a groggy voice calls from the stairs.

I turn on the couch to see a very tired Edward leaning on the banister, fists digging into his eyes in an effort to clear away sleep. His copper hair is beyond tousled, deciding to stick up in every direction. Shirtless, his hip bones peak above the top of his pajama bottoms. He is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen, vulnerable, sweet and completely ignorant of our worst nightmare, now stalking us with mysterious intentions.

I slowly rise from the couch. I feel an onslaught of tears at the back of my throat, but I fight them back as if fighting them equals stopping the unwelcome visitors from harassing our home. Working against me is a lack of sleep and enough bottled up tension to cause an explosion. I know these tears falling will signal the end of our normal life. I expected it would end, and I'm not even remotely surprised, so why does the loss of it level me in an instant?

Edward watches me approach with a bewildered, confused expression.

"Bella, honey, what is it?" He pulls me to him, wrapping me in a warmth that pulls gently on the tears, coaxing them from their ducts. "Did you have trouble sleeping?" My grip around his waist tightens, and I continue to fight them.

His hands still at my back. "Bella, I'm serious, are you alright?"

I try and remain silent but a rebellious sob breaks free. "Love, please tell me. You're frightening me, Bella."

"The Volturi." I've lost. The tears pour down me in waves.

"What about them?" When I don't answer immediately, he grips my shoulders, shaking me roughly, just once, but it frightens me. "Bella, I'm sorry, but you need to tell me. Now, please."

"They're coming here."

"How soon?"

"Three days."

Edward releases my shoulders, grabs my hand and begins pulling me with him up the stairs. I don't say a word, don't mention the loss of feeling in my fingers from his hand squeezing mine. I trip on the stairs, and he quickly helps me up without saying a word, then continues to haul both of us further up towards our bedroom. He throws open the door, the wood crashing into the wall behind it as it flies open.

"Bella, pack some clothes." He grabs my backpack from the corner next to the desk and shoves it into my hands. I take it but stand immobile in the middle of the room, Edward a whirlwind of activity as he darts around, shoving items into a larger hiking pack.

"I need you to hurry, please." He blurts out angrily, face focused on stuffing his bag as quickly as possible.

I can't move, and I can't do what he asks.

"Edward, we can't run from them." I whisper.

"The hell we can..." His voice is soft, but livid with a smoldering anger. He grabs the backpack out of my hands, pulls open a drawer of my T shirts and starts stuffing them inside.

"It's not just a few of them. Alice says...there's more, maybe close to twenty. What about our family? What about..." my voice catches with another weak sob, and I internally curse myself. This is not the time for weakness. "What about you?"

"My family can take care of themselves." The bags are stuffed to capacity, and Edward turns to a pile of clothes left in his wake, pulling on jeans and a long sleeved-T shirt. I wrap my arms around myself as I shiver in my thin silk pants and tank top.

Edward finally raises his head to look at me, meeting my eyes for the first time since our last moment of normalcy downstairs. "Let me take care of _you_, Bella," he says with determination, eyes piercing and angry. But then something in him breaks, like wind suddenly abandoning sails. He sinks to the bed and lets his head fall into his hands.

I kneel in front of him, and Edward reluctantly lets me pry his fingers away from his face. "You _do_ take care of me. We take care of each other."

"But I can't _protect_ you," he blurts out, frustrated, rising from the bed and stepping around me in order to resume his frantic pacing around the room. I rise too.

"No, you can't," I say gently, trying to calm him. "I'm sorry. I know that's hard for you."

"_Hard_ for me? Yes, unbearably so. But there are other ways...I will not let them touch you, Bella." He's shaking a little. "I have to keep you safe. Please let me."

"Edward, what are you saying?" He's put some distance between us, but I erase it with determination, gripping his arms in an effort to stop Edward from pacing. "This isn't just about me anymore. Your safety is just as important as mine. I'm not going anywhere without you, and I'm not blindly running without a plan."

"I _have_ a plan." He grits his teeth and fixes me with a gaze that clearly conveys he has no intention of backing down.

"And let me guess, this plan revolves around keeping me safe. But Edward, they're not coming for me." As much as it drives a knife through me to say, he needs to hear it. "They're coming for you."

I expect shock from Edward, but if this news surprises him, he doesn't show it.

"I cannot let you do what you're planning, Edward." Carlisle's gentle voice at our door startles me. I steal a glance at Edward, and he's fixing his father with the same glare I received moments ago.

"I won't let them find her, Carlisle. They can't discover what she's capable of. If they do, Aro will never stand for it." He casts me a tentative look out the corner of his eye. "He will see Bella as a threat to them, and we both know what that means for Bella's life."

"They would kill her, I know."

I'm taken aback by Carlisle's bluntness. Usually our family skirts around the edges of my vulnerability, sugar-coating the real danger to make me feel safe. Not anymore, apparently, and somehow that seems so much better than the facade. _Let's just put it all out there, _I think.

"But they will kill you, too, Edward," Carlisle continues.

"No!" I shout, surprising both men with my volume. I shift my body to stand between my husband and Carlisle. "This has nothing to do with Edward. I'm the dangerous one. I'm the one they should come for."

Edward grasps me from behind, spinning me to face him. "Bella, don't be ridiculous. There is no way I'm letting you anywhere near them."

"I'm not being ridiculous. What makes you think I would let them anywhere near you, if there was something I could do to stop it?"

Carlisle interrupts Edward's chance to argue back. "No one is going to face the Volturi alone, Bella." He pointedly looks at Edward although he addresses me. "We are a family now, and we'll face them together."

Edward holds Carlisle's gaze for one defiant moment before letting his shoulders relax, forfeiting at least temporary acceptance.

"Everyone is downstairs. We have a lot to discuss."

* * *

The Cullen living room is so quiet as we approach that I'm not convinced anyone is actually in it. Not until I see everyone assembled--Jasper and Alice on the couch, Esme sitting on its armrest, Rosalie in the big leather armchair and Emmett on the floor, leaning back against her knees--do I believe our family has actually returned. Edward pulls me to the second couch, across from Jasper and Alice as Carlisle moves to stand next to his wife.

There are no greetings, and Carlisle gets right to the point.

"Explain your vision one more time, Alice. Edward still needs to hear it."

She takes a deep breath, and Jasper's arm tightens around her shoulders. "Demetri has lost the ability to track you, Edward. We think it's because of your change, that somehow becoming human has altered the tenor of your mind, and he can't find it."

"Does he know I'm human?" Edward asks.

"No, it's like you've fallen off the face of the earth to him. Demetri thinks you're dead, and Aro agrees but wants to investigate. You remember how intrigued Aro was by you and Bella. He thinks Bella died, and you decided to go all Romeo again, is his theory."

"So the Volturi aren't blocking their decisions from Alice." Edward addresses his family, his eyes narrowing as a scheme begins forming in his head. "That can certainly be used to our advantage."

Jasper continues. "Well, they've abandoned stealth in favor of a full-out, aggressive tactic. Aro is bringing at least twenty Volturi with him here to Forks. And not just your average Volturi guard but an elite force. Aro's making his intentions pretty obvious."

Carlisle nods at Jasper and continues. "He expects compliance, and by bringing a small army, Aro knows we'll think twice about running. Demetri can still track Alice and I, since he knows our minds. And as much as Emmet would like to try," at this Emmett, lets out a short, barked laugh, "we can't best twenty of Aro's vampires, not even with the help of the werewolves."

"But, I don't understand," I venture, "if Aro thinks Edward and I are dead, what's the big deal? Why come halfway across the world to find out for sure?"

"He suspects that you're dead, Bella," Alice answers, "but a part of him hopes Edward turned you, and you're flexing your new vampire abilities. If you can prevent those around you from being tracked, you would certainly be quite the little asset to his empire. Bringing an army makes sure we know who's still in charge." She says this last bit with a snarl.

"Well, I say he's in charge only if we let him be," Emmett argues. "He can't just waltz in here and dictate our lives. We've done nothing to threaten him..."

"If you don't count Bella being an anitdote to vampirism..." Edward interjects.

"Ok, so there's that minor detail," Emmett shrugs. "So we hide Bella. You suggested that yourself, Edward, when the Volturi first got wind of her. Only this time you hide too. We'll stay behind and distract Aro, set up some elaborate scheme for how the two of you bit the dust, and voila, they leave us alone."

Silence meets Emmett's suggestion.

"Except Aro could touch any one of us and immediately know what had actually happened," Alice counters.

"Right. Ok, scratch that," Emmett admits. "How about we make the Volturi bite Bella, and they all become human and we kill them?"

"Be serious, Emmett," Edward growls at his brother.

"Sorry, I'm just throwing things out there."

"It's not such a bad plan, actually," I mumble. In my peripheral vision, I see Edward turn to glare at me as he grips my hand even tighter.

"Please, enlighten us, Bella," he says through clenched teeth.

"Well, not all of the Volturi would need to bite me. Just Aro. Once they lost their leader, maybe the others would back off?" I end with a question rather than sounding sure of my idea. I don't really know how the Volturi hierarchy works.

"And you think Aro would actually stop drinking your blood before it killed you?" Edward asks.

"You did..."

"Because I love you," Edward interrupts. "And I was screaming at myself to stop. I doubt Aro loves you or would have any intention of stopping."

"Maybe the antidote would kick in before he killed me. Edward, you certainly knew something was wrong after you bit me."

"I don't think we can count on that, Bella," Carlisle says, the gears turning in his brain, "We know practically nothing about how the antidote actually works, let alone whether it will work the same way with another vampire. The timing could be very unpredictable as far as we know."

"It's too dangerous, Bella. He may not feel the change, and it could be too late to save you. No way," Edward says as if the discussion is closed.

"Besides, Bella," Esme says in an effort to comfort me, "Aro is probably not the best vampire to try it out on. He's already stronger than any of us. How could we restrain him as the antidote begins to work, simultaneously keeping twenty of his guards at bay?"

"That's a good point," I concede, reluctantly. "But we can't run because Aro will find us, and we can't stay because Aro will kill us, so..."

"Everyone is avoiding the obvious plan," Rosalie finally says quietly from her chair.

"What's that, Rose?" Alice says, failing to hide her contempt.

"Demetri can't track us when we're human, so obviously...if we were to become human..."

No one speaks.


	8. Chapter 8

Being carried through the forest on Alice's back is a hundred times more frightening than riding on Edward's ever was. Edward could run faster, but what Alice lacks in speed she makes up for in daredevil shortcuts and flying leaps. She soars over fallen trees, launching us off their trunks like a gazelle, defying the theory that a straight line is the shortest distance between two points. Somehow this gets her where she wants to go.

The first time I ran through the woods on Edward's back, I felt sick. The first time on Alice's back, I feel like a sick form of death that has no business breathing.

"Sorry, Bella," Alice mumbles as she emerges from the tree line, gently lowering me to the floor at the edge of the clearing. I crumple into a fetal position. "My hours like this are numbered. I thought I should take advantage of running while I can," she explains, trying to make amends by picking some stray twigs out of my hair.

"You think _your_ hours are numbered. You might as well just let the Volturi take me now," I barely manage through tight lips, shut in an effort to keep dinner from making a reappearance. My eyes are closed, but the memory of trees turning into night sky as we leapt over that last down log will forever be etched into my retinas.

"You should have closed your eyes," she chastises.

"Yeah, you think I would have learned that by now."

I try to breathe deeply with my cheek pressed against the cool grass, grasping for a bit of stillness in the spinning of my head and pounding of my ears. The werewolves will be at the clearing soon, ready to hear our plan and decide if they are willing to help us, and I'd like to be at least semi-coherent by then. Although she's silent, I know Alice is still kneeling by my head, occasionally finding another leaf buried somewhere in my messy curls.

_She's taking this very well_, I think.

Everyone is taking it well considering one day is down and there are two more to go until the Volturi make their appearance. We spent the first day finalizing our plan to not get killed. There were heated words, hurt feelings, fear, but ultimately enough love to agree to a plan that will keep our family together, and ultimately, if we are together and _alive_ in some form, that's what matters.

I start to hear other noises in the clearing, and I crack an eye open just in time to see Edward dropping down from Emmett's back, the two brothers laughing and animated.

"Look at those two," Alice frowns. "You'd think life as we know it isn't about to change forever."

"No kidding," I mutter, "Although I'd take this over the no-talking policy of the past weeks any day. Perhaps the Volturi are a blessing in disguise." I say sarcastically.

"I don't think I'd go that far."

Edward begins scanning the edge of the clearing for me, a look of concern wiping away his smile as he finally finds me still curled up on the ground.

"Bella?" He jogs over to me and kneels next to my curled form, softly brushing my forehead with his fingertips. "Are you going to be sick? Alice is a little spastic with the running."

"I'm a little better actually," I say, surprised at how quickly my head has cleared. "How was your run?"

He shrugs as he begins helping me to my feet. "A little slow."

"Hey, watch it there, weakling," Emmett calls from the middle of the clearing. "I can still take you."

"Yeah, well, not for long," Edward teases back.

"You boys are awfully chipper," Alice grumbles as the three of us start walking towards the center of the clearing, Edward's arm secured around my waist.

Unsure of the right words, I stay silent. During the last 24 hours, it has been heartbreaking to watch Alice wrestle with her decision whether or not to become human. Everyone will be giving up something of the life they know, but none more than Alice, it seems.

"Alice, I'm sorry. Truly, I am," Edward says gravely, all traces of humor gone from his voice. "I know this is hard. I wish I could somehow convince you that nothing _fundamental_ about you will change. You'll still be the Alice we know and love."

"Of course she will." Jaspers hoarse whisper startles me. I didn't hear him approach our small group from behind. He pulls Alice into a deep hug, the tension in her back visibly evaporating as Jasper's arms wind around her waist.

"Jasper...but I can't see..." Her eyes are pinched shut against his chest. "How do you know?" she whispers so softly I can barely hear her pained voice.

"I know. I won't lose you, I promise."

I look at Edward, trying to tell him with my eyes that we should give them some space. He nods and pulls me further into the clearing to meet the rest of our family already assembled there. As we walk, he pulls me closer, pressing his lips into my hair.

"I love you," he whispers.

I look up into his face and am surprised to see deep worry lines etched into his forehead. I stop walking and reach up to touch them. "What is it?"

He shakes his head, trying to distract my concern. "It's nothing..."

I open my mouth to protest, but Edward quickly leans in to kiss me, winding his free hand into my hair. He sweetly kisses my lips, his lazy, slow passion leaving me just as weak as when fire burns between us. Leaving my mouth, he trails kisses across my face, ending on the soft skin of my eye lids. His eyes glimmer with moisture as he finally pulls away.

"I _will_ give you your normal life back," he says fiercely, quietly.

"Wh...What?" I sputter. "Is that what you're worried about?"

Edward eyes me skeptically. "You can pretend to not miss the normal life we've had these past weeks, but I won't believe you," he says softly.

Again, I open my mouth to speak, but he silences me with a finger against my lips. "I know you were ready to leave your normal life behind to be with me, Bella, but after seeing how happy you've been, I am _never_ letting you give up that life again. I will fight to keep it for you, for us."

He brushes the finger that was used to silence me across my lips, burning his eyes into mine.

I swallow a lump in my throat. This talk of fighting scares me. "I can't deny that I've been happy, Edward, but I've been happy because I'm building a life with you."

Edward pulls me back into his arms, and kisses the top of my head, allowing his lips to linger there. "I know. I feel the same. There are moments, though, that I never even allowed myself to imagine because their absence was too painful, and now, it's too painful to imagine letting them go."

"Like what?" I venture, curious.

I can feel him smile against my hair. "Waking up next to you every morning, making love to you," he says, his voice husky and breathless as his mouth moves closer to my ear. "Feeling your pregnant belly swell...I don't think I'll be able to keep my hands off you..."

My heart starts to beat wildly, and I'm simultaneously aroused and panicked by his answer. "Edward, I haven't even gone to college. Children...Jesus, _someday_, but I...that's..."

He smiles fully as he pulls back to look at me. "I'm not saying let's have them this second, but someday, I'd like to start a family with you, if that's something you want."

"Sure, ok." My voice raises an octave as I get us walking again. "That just seems _so far away_. Let's get past the Volturi first, and then we can talk about kids."

"Deal," he smiles. "I just want you to know," he says seriously, taking my hand firmly in his, "Aro will not take this life away from you."

As sweet as Edward's intentions are, something in his voice fills me with dread, and I shiver.

* * *

We join the rest of the Cullens in the clearing, waiting for Sam and the others to join us. In the past, Edward would have been able to warn us of their approach, but now we wait, dependent on the family's acute hearing to signal the arrival of the Quileutes.

The vampires are poised and ready for the meeting, bodies tense, in a line facing the woods where the pack is expected to emerge. Edward and I linger a little behind our family's formation. The werewolves don't yet know what has happened to Edward, what I'm capable of. Wary to give Sam a lot of details over the phone, Carlisle had simply said we were in need of the pack's help, and the treaty was no longer in danger of being breached. When Carlisle explained that it would be necessary for the pack to meet as humans, since Edward would not be able to act as their translator, we had almost lost our chance to speak with them, but with a little pleading from Carlisle, and hints of an imminent threat that would endanger everyone in Forks, Sam had agreed to hear us out.

Autumn in Forks is chilly, and I bury myself a little further into Edward's fleece, eyes weary from staring at the dark line of trees. I let my mind wander back to a similar night spent in this clearing with the werewolves, although tonight, I remind myself, there will be one less wolf.

"They're here," Jasper whispers, just as a tall, single form emerges from the trees.

The form, which with enough squinting through the darkness looks a lot like Sam, pauses at the tree line for a few moments before walking slowly towards us. He stops when he's still about ten yards away, only wearing a white T-shirt in this freezing weather.

"Hello," he says, thankfully loud enough for both Edward and I to hear.

"Thank you for coming, Sam," Carlisle says, the gratitude easily apparent in his voice.

"I've had the pack stay in the woods, although they're close by. I wanted to hear you out for myself before having the others approach. They aren't comfortable meeting you in their human forms." Sam sounds uncomfortable himself.

"That's perfectly understandable. Hopefully we can put you at ease by coming straight to the point. Edward, Bella, if you would come closer, please."

Edward squeezes my hand, and we walk slowly to Carlisle, stopping at his side.

"Hi, Sam," I say.

"Hello, Bella. Nice to see you...still human."

Although I can just make out Sam's face, I can feel him shift his attention to Edward, can almost hear the realization dawn in Sam's brain.

"I don't understand. Is this some kind of joke?" Sam's spits out, his biting accusation eliciting a low growl from Emmett.

Carlisle holds a palm out to Emmett before shifting his gaze back to Sam. "This is not a trick, Sam. Edward is human."

"How is that possible?" The disbelief is still thick in Sam's voice.

Carlisle proceeds to explain my talent as a vampire antidote and the details of Edward's transformation. Sam still seems skeptical until he allows Edward to approach, tentatively shakes his hand, feels his pulse, and only then is he finally convinced.

"Wow, this is _not_ what I expected," Sam chuckles, but his humor is short-lived and his voice turns serious. "I'll bring in the pack now, if that's acceptable. They will want to hear for themselves."

The other seven boys and Leah approach, very apprehensive, their eyes continuously darting to Sam for direction. Carlisle repeats the explanation, and they each take a turn touching Edward, accepting the truth with different degrees of surprise. Leah seems entirely uninterested, her eyes darting back to me just as often as they do to Edward. By the time these preliminaries are complete, an hour or so has already passed, and we haven't even mentioned the Volturi.

"So, this is pretty amazing Carlisle, I'll admit, but you said our help is needed," Sam prods.

"Yes. As you remember from our battle with the newborns last spring, there is a clan of vampires in Italy known as the Volturi." Sam nods, and Carlisle continues. "They are en route here, and according to Alice's visions are due to arrive in approximately 48 hours. Aro, the Volturi's leader, is in the group, as well as Demetri and Jane, two of his particular favorites. He also brings an elite force of approximately 20 highly trained, highly skilled tactical vampires."

"Why are they coming?" Sam asks calmly, although I can sense anger brewing just beneath the surface.

"Demetri, their tracker, is able to track an individual's mind. With Edward's change, Demetri has lost the ability to track Edward, and they are coming to investigate."

Carlisle explains more regarding Aro, Demetri and Jane and their powers. He also explains Aro's interest in my relationship with Edward and his desire to bring Edward and I into his fold, as well as the rules the Volturi hold so dear, giving a good deal of attention to the one outlawing the existence of humans that are aware of vampires.

Sam and the others absorb the information quietly, only occasionally asking for clarification.

Another hour passes before Carlisle finishes the preliminaries, and I realize I'm swaying a little in place, my legs tired and numb from cold. Edward pulls me a little closer and presses a kiss to my temple.

"We're almost done," he says gently, next to my ear.

I raise my eyebrows at him in disbelief.

"Alright, we're not, but at least we're getting to the good part," he concedes.

"If by good part, you mean really dangerous part," I mumble.

"So, I assume you have a plan to avoid these guys...and girl, I guess," Paul says, with not a little disgust, and for the first time, I take note of his stance next to Sam. _He's trying to take Jacob's place as second in command_, I think to myself.

"We do, and that's where you come in, if you agree to offer your services," Carlisle begins.

And then stops.

You can feel the apprehension build as the wolves wait for him to continue, but no one speaks. Carlisle's face is concentrated but calm, as if he's listening to a particularly intricate passage of music or pondering a difficult clue in his crossword puzzle, not preparing to ask the wolves to help change his family's life forever.

Esme approaches him slowly, careful not to startle the wolves. She stands at his side, reaching up to turn his face towards her. For a moment, it's as if he doesn't even see her, but then his eyes focus, and she smiles. He offers a small smile back, hopefully garnering enough courage to continue, and he turns back to the pack with confidence.

"Aro leaves us little choice. We cannot run. Demetri can track Alice and I, and if we hide Bella and Edward only, Aro will be able to touch any one of us and instantly learn of Bella's ability. We cannot stay for reasons I've explained, most importantly that Bella and Edward's lives would be forfeit. We've decided..." He pauses, and starts again. "We, as a family, have decided to try Bella's antidote on ourselves, in hopes of eliminating Demetri's ability to track us. Once Alice and I are changed into humans, and if the antidote works the same--which is a rather large if, unfortunately--Demetri will be blind. He has not met the remaining members of our family, outside Edward, therefore he's not familiar with their minds and cannot track them."

"So, only you and Alice will try the antidote?" Sam asks.

"Alice and I will be the first. Once the threat of the the Volturi has passed, and if we are changed successfully, Jasper and Esme have decided to transition as well, as they desire to remain with us. Rosalie wishes to become human, and Emmett will change to stay with her. "

"But you said it takes _three_ days for Bella's, you know, whatever...the antidote...to work fully. We only have two days left until the Volturi arrive," Paul points out.

"Precisely. During the first two days of the transition, the body is essentially still a vampire, as we saw with Edward. At the start of the third day, which should coincide with the arrival of the Volturi, Alice and I should lose consciousness as our bodies prepare for the final change. I'm hoping that this will mark the point where Demetri's power fails, and Alice and I can be moved to a safe location to recover without detection."

"And you need us to help with your transition. To help restrain you and Alice during the first day, when your strength is increased," Sam guesses.

Carlisle nods, his eyes hopeful. "Yes, that is what we hoped. Edward was unbelievably strong during the first day of his transformation, and although Jasper and Esme wish to remain with us during the change, they would not be strong enough to restrain both of us. Emmett and Rosalie will stay with Edward and Bella at a remote location, awaiting our return."

There is silence as Sam considers the plan. The rest of the pack looks to him, but they do not speak.

Sam turns to look at their faces before addressing Carlisle again. "We need a moment to discuss your proposition. Of course, we must also think of the safety of La Push while the Volturi are in town. I cannot leave it unguarded."

"Of course. We would not expect you to."

Sam turns back towards the line of trees, and begins running towards them, the rest of the Quileutes at his heels. Halfway there, they phase and continue to dash towards the woods as wolves.

"Carlisle, do you think they'll help us?" Alice whispers.

"I don't know. Edward, it would have been helpful to have your gift right about now," Carlisle says with a slight smile

Edward smiles in return.

* * *

The pack is only gone for a few minutes before they return to the clearing.

"We will help you," Sam says with determination, "although we have a condition. Seven of us will remain with you through the first day of your transformation. After that, we feel we must return to La Push to guard our families and homes. You would be on your own, then."

Carlisle turns to us, awaiting any objections. Emmett and Jasper nod.

"That is acceptable. We are thankful for your help."

"So, when do we start this thing?" Paul asks, impatient.

"We begin tonight."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thank you for all of the kind reviews, alerts and favorites! I hope you enjoy this chapter (it's a long one) :)**

**Oh, and I'm trying to avoid all BD spoilers like the plague, so please just be wary to give away anything in a comment, in case an unsuspecting reader stumbles across it!! Thank you!!**

* * *

Emmett's jeep is packed beyond capacity.

It was always a ridiculously large vehicle, but now the carriers strapped to the hood make it look like a monster. Surprisingly, it was the most practical choice considering where it needs to take us and how much we need to carry--Emmett, Rosalie, Edward and I to a cabin _somewhere_ in the woods of northern Washington, equipped with enough medical supplies, food and other necessities for us to survive. If everything goes according to plan, the cabin will keep us safe while Alice and Carlisle recover.

That is, if everything goes according to plan.

Carlisle, Alice, Esme, Jasper and the werewolves prepare to head out on foot, also deep into the wilderness. In theory, the last place Demetri will track Carlisle and Alice to will be in the middle of the vast woods, with few landmarks to help him and no people from which Aro could capture an image of the Cullens. Unlike Emmett's massive jeep, carrying enough luggage to weigh down any lesser vehicle, Carlisle's group will travel light, their only baggage being several pints of my blood.

_Their last meal_, I think dryly.

Edward stands several yards to my left, Carlisle's hands on his shoulders, their heads bent and eyes locked in conversation. Although they've gone over these details a million times already, a million and one times can't hurt, and I hear snippets of undecipherable medical jargon drift in my direction. Edward will finally have a chance to put his two medical degrees to good use.

For at least 24 hours, while Carlisle is unconscious, Edward will be the doctor of the family. I don't doubt Edward's medical competence for a second and am not surprised at his own readiness to be responsible for those he loves, but I can't shake the feeling that something lurks to throw a stick into our best laid plans. That somehow this plan is doomed to pull our family apart--humans on one side of a great divide, vampires on the other.

I will never forgive myself if that happens.

I've put my family in danger _again _and now prepare to sit by and watch as I do nothing to stop it. I dragged us into this mess. I insisted on becoming a vampire, and now in some taunting form of deja vu, we are fighting for our lives, while Alice, now my sister in every sense, prepares for the repercussions of a choice she never really got to make. And to add a flaming stick to the bonfire of guilt, I've actually been _happy. _Happy for the life Edward and I will be able to share. This makes me feel guilty most of all.

"Stop it, Bella," Alice warns as she grips my elbows, turning me to face her.

"What do you mean?" I stutter as I feign ignorance, staring at my shoes.

"Stop beating yourself up."

"Alice, this is my fault," I whisper, my eyes locking on to her worried ones.

She sighs. "I think you could find a way to make everything bad that happens your fault."

"Well, sometimes it is."

She pulls me into a hug, her small arms around my shoulders forcing the breath out of me. "Bella, I'm ready. And I don't want you to worry, stuck up in that cabin for two days. Everything will be fine. Just take care of Edward. He's more scared than he lets on." She quickly kisses my cheek and releases me, trying to avoid my eyes as she moves away towards Jasper. "And when I wake up, I better not hear about any crazy heroics you've pulled, trying to save the day."

"Alice, wait..." I reach out to her.

"I don't like goodbyes, Bella." she murmurs, half smiling at me.

"Well, I'll see you later, then," I try out nonchalantly, failing miserably.

* * *

Final preparations last a few more minutes, and then it is time for real goodbyes, ready or not.

Esme hugs me silently. We haven't had much time alone since those awful two days stuck in a hotel room, waiting to hear from our family, and I suddenly miss her, even though she's standing right in front of me. I feel the first tears begin to spill down my cheeks as she passes me to Carlisle.

Carlisle hugs me closely, which catches me by surprise. He's never been stand-offish, just dignified and formal, and this display of affection forces the tears out in earnest.

"Thank you, Bella."

"For what?" I blubber into his chest.

"For being Edward's wife, for joining our family. Your presence in our lives has given us so much joy." He pauses, his body going rigid under my hands. "If something happens to us...If something happens to me.."

"Don't say that." I begin to push away from him, but he takes both of my hands in his.

"I need you to take care of Edward, which means keeping yourself safe. Promise me..."

"Of course," I whisper.

Carlisle turns to Edward just as Esme is releasing her son from her arms. Edward tries to smile at them in reassurance, to look at the only two people he has ever truly known as parents and say without words that everything will be alright, that they will be together again. But his small smile quickly turns stoic, and Edward's mask that has protected him in the past from emotions too strong to handle, obscures his face and keeps the tears threatening to fall at bay.

He gives his parents' hands a final squeeze and turns to Alice and Jasper. Alice hugs Edward quickly, her small frame enveloped in his arms as Edward kisses the top of her head. Alice lets him hold her for just a few seconds before pulling away, retaking Jasper's hand and moving too quickly off towards the woods.

Edward stares in their direction for a few moments before coming to stand beside me, slipping his warm hand into mine but refusing to meet my eyes.

"Alright, it's time," Carlisle whispers, taking his gaze away from the woods and turning back to look at those that remain.

"Take care of yourselves. Take care of each other," Esme says, her voice low and thick.

"We'll see you in a couple days," Edward whispers, and we watch them disappear into the woods.

* * *

I toss and turn, trying to recapture sleep. The air is still, almost stifling, practically begging for a Washington rainstorm to relieve it of its misery. Instinctively I reach out next to me, searching for Edward on the air mattress, but the bed is empty.

I sit up, panicked, all traces of sleep gone. For at least the next several days, if not longer, I know I'll overreact with worry if he's not next to me.

"Edward?" I call, quietly into the darkness, pulling the quilt up against my T shirt, suddenly cold.

No answer.

I push myself off the mattress, fumbling in the darkness for my hooded sweatshirt. The wood planks of the cabin are rough and worn on my bare feet, and I wince loudly as a toe stubs against the dresser holding our clothes.

Finally, I find my sweatshirt and a pair of socks, pull them on, and tiptoe to the door of our bedroom. I should have thought to find a flashlight, but now that I'm warmer, I feel anxious to find Edward first.

The creak as I push open the door is loud enough to wake every sleeping animal within a mile's radius. So much for stealth.

Our bedroom opens into a small living space. Although the half-moon provides some light through the couple of windows in the room, I can barely make out the outline of a shabby couch and a couple chairs in the darkness. Compared to the open, modern feel of our house in Forks, the cabin feels cramped and plain, but the four of us spent the day trying to make it livable. It has well water, and we brought a propane generator for electricity, but it certainly resembles roughing it to me, considering how little living in the wilderness I've done.

Not seeing Edward inside the cabin, I creep to the front door, hoping that he's at least outside on the small front porch. Rosalie and Emmett are hunting tonight, stealing a chance to feed before the Volturi arrive in just less than 24 hours, so we've had the cabin to ourselves.

"Edward?" I call, as I push open the front door.

I hear a gasp in the darkness.

"Bella, you startled me," he says hurriedly, as he wraps his arms around my waist, helping me through the door and on to the porch with him.

I immediately take a deep breath. Compared to the stifling cabin, the air in the woods is cool and refreshing, and I feel a calmness settle in me now that I'm back in Edward's arms. A soft wind rustles the trees, and the sound of crickets is deafening.

"What are you doing out here?" I mumble against his chest.

"Can't sleep," he says softly. "Will you sit with me for a while?"

"Of course, you don't even half to ask."

One thing the cabin does have going for it is a porch swing. One of those old-fashioned, creaking wooden ones that I picture old ladies in ruffled skirts gossiping on as they swing themselves through an uneventful afternoon.

Edward pulls me towards it and on to his lap. I tuck my head under his chin, and lean the side of my body into his chest. While my feet dangle off the side of his legs, his feet touch the ground, and he begins to gently rock us.

"If I squint hard enough, it's almost like you and I are on a romantic getaway to the Pacific Northwest wilderness, not hiding to save our lives," I murmur, trying to lighten his dark mood.

I peer up at him, and he offers me a small smile.

"Sorry, that wasn't really funny," I whisper, as I nuzzle against his neck.

"You're just trying to cheer me up."

"What's wrong?" I settle in closer to his chest, running my fingertips across his T-shirt. "I mean, besides the obvious."

"Nothing more than the obvious, really," he sighs, pulling me closer. "I have you safe here in my arms," he murmurs, rubbing long, slow lines down my back. "But I'm still so scared of losing you," he says shakily, gripping me to him and pressing a kiss to my temple.

I slowly sit up on his lap, reaching for his face and holding it gently in my hands.

"Edward, that's not going to happen," I try and convince him. "They won't find us here."

"I just feel helpless, Bella. I can't protect you, I can't protect our family..."

"Edward, that's not true. Look at your medical expertise. There's no way that we, that Carlisle and Alice could do this without you. You _are_ helping your family--just in a different way, now."

He grips my shoulders. "Bella, just promise me, if something happens...if the Volturi show up, if you're in danger in any way..." His voice grows frantic. "Promise me you'll run, that you won't sacrifice your safety to help me..."

"Edward, I can't promise that. There's no way..."

He kisses me, and his lips are hot against mine. One arm secures my body against him, while another hand gropes the back of my neck, pulling my lips even harder against his. My hands are lost in his hair, gripping handfuls of it, and I moan as his tongue begins to slide against mine.

As he kisses me, I try and regain some conscious thought through the haze of wanting him. I love his mouth against me, but the frantic way it moves reminds me of something...of another time when his kisses felt like we were running out of time.

"Edward, wait." I try and whisper against his lips, but my body betrays me and I crash even harder against him.

"Bella, I want to take you inside," he murmurs against the skin of my neck, his panting drowning out the crickets, "I want to lay you down in our bed and undress you and feel you against me. May I do that? Will you let me?"

"Yes," I moan into his hair, my breath hitching as he effortlessly stands, cradling me in his arms.

He carries me through the front door, his lips still moving frantically against mine. The bedroom door screams in protest as it's kicked open, but Edward doesn't seem to notice as he gently lays me down on the bed and covers my body with his own.

He continues to kiss me deeply, his hands on either side of my face, his hips rocking gently against mine in a slow, steady rhythm. He knows just how to make me crazy, and I involuntarily buck against him, feeling him grow even harder through layers of clothing.

He smiles against my lips. "Don't rush this, love, I want to make this last for you." He lifts off of me slightly, and I moan as his hips move away from me. "I want to touch you," he whispers softly, as he begins kissing my body, cupping my breasts reverently through the cotton fabric.

My mind rushes to catch up with the desire pulsing through every blood vessel, every nerve.

"I..." I attempt to speak, but Edward has lifted the bottom of my T-shirt and is wetly kissing my stomach, his hands traveling slowly up the skin of my ribcage.

I untangle my hands from his hair and use them to weakly trap the onslaught of his fingers, stopping them just as they reach the bottom curves of my breasts.

"Edward, wait," I say, urgently, my mind breaking free.

"Bella? Are you alright?" He shifts his weight off of me and peers down into my face, concern scrawled across his features.

I take a deep breath, trying to stop the tremor in my voice. "I need to say some things to you."

He gulps. "Ok," he whispers, "I'm ready."

"This is not the last time we're going to make love."

His face softens, and he presses a kiss to my forehead. "Bella, I know that."

"Well, you're kissing me like you did before Victoria came, when we realized the vampire in my room was one of the same ones terrorizing Seattle." I try and continue past the lump in my throat. "You're kissing me like time is running out, and it scares me."

His eyebrows come together, and he leans down gently, kissing the tears running down my temples. "Please don't cry. I don't mean to scare you, I'm sorry," he says softly.

"We're going to wake up next to each other for the rest of our lives and make babies and grow old together," I say desperately, pulling his face to mine so that I can see his eyes. "Tell me you believe me."

He swallows again and brushes the damp hair from my forehead, his eyes sparkling in the light from the moon.

"I believe you," he breathes.

"Then I need to hear you say it."

He smiles down at me. "This is not the last time we'll make love, and I'm going to give you lots of babies, and we're going to grow old together."

"Thank you," I murmur as I pull him down to me. "Now where were we?"

* * *

Edward and I spend the night clutched in each other arms, making love as the desire surfaces, finally collapsing, spent, just as the morning light filters in through the worn, musty curtains. I feel the growing light burning against my eyelids, but I press my naked body closer to his chest, warding off the impending doom the light brings. He pulls me closer in response, burying his face in my hair, cupping my face with his hand.

"We should get up, love," he murmurs. "I'll make you some breakfast."

He kisses my forehead, and I groan as he peels his body from me.

One more day.

The wait is excruciating, but we try to pass the time by busying ourselves with preparations. I help Edward set up the medical equipment in the second bedroom, while Emmett and Rosalie, returned from their hunting trip, finish cleaning the cabin and organizing our other supplies.

At sunset, Edward begins pacing in the small clearing in front of the cabin. He periodically stops, faces the tree line as if he hears their approach, only to continue pacing after a few still moments. Emmett is convinced he'll wear a track in the meager grass sprouting across the yard.

I sit on the porch swing with Rosalie, while Emmett sits on the front stairs. We don't say much, just stare into the trees until the light fades, until Edward and I can no longer see their tall forms at the edge of the clearing.

I finally stand, stretch and walk out to Edward, who has temporarily ceased pacing. He's just a dark shadow, still staring out into the forest. I wrap my arms around him from behind.

"We should go, inside," I whisper, kissing the skin between his shoulder blades. "I don't like you standing out here in the dark."

"Well, it's dark inside, too. We shouldn't turn on any lights unless its absolutely necessary," he says, pressing my arms to his stomach.

"I know." I shiver. "It just feels a little safer inside...now that they're here. Somewhere."

Edward turns toward the house, resting his arm along my shoulders, and I keep my hands around his waist as we walk towards the cabin.

We don't get far before Emmett comes bounding down the front steps, Rosalie on his heels. They're a blur as they run past us, stopping just at the tree line a few yards away.

"Emmett? What is it?" Edward demands, pushing me behind him, our backs to the cabin. "Bella, go inside," he briskly orders me.

I stare incredulously back at him before standing my ground, and he gives me an exasperated look.

"Someone's coming," Emmett growls, so low I can barely hear him. My heart clamors wildly, and I'm suddenly scared my heart will give our presence away.

No one speaks again. Edward's grip on my wrists tighten.

A rush of wind and a muffled exclaim of surprise are the next sensations, but these sounds do little to calm my nerves. Edward and I wait, unsure of whether to move or speak, until we finally hear several familiar voices in the darkness.

Jasper. Esme. And a husky voice that might be Sam.

Edward relaxes his grip then, and we move toward the voices, following them up into the cabin. The group moves into the second bedroom, and I hear Edward begin to make inquiries about his unconscious family members. I blindly feel along for the light switch. Finding it, I switch it on, and a very dim light spills across the small room.

I press myself into the wall at my back, not quite ready to take in the scene before me. Alice and Carlisle are laid out on two twin cots, Jasper clutching Alice's hand, Esme at Carlisle's side, peering into his slack face with more worry than I have ever seen her express. Edward is the picture of calm, working at Carlisle's side first, quickly placing an IV catheter in his arm, adjusting the fluid rate, taking his heart rate, all while gathering a detailed account of Carlisle's change from the others in the room.

I have trouble paying attention, but I gather that something went wrong with Carlisle's transformation, he reacted very strongly to the antidote, is showing signs of shock. Alice is doing well, more similar to Edward's transformation. Edward moves to check on her, also placing an IV, but is more quickly content with her status and returns his attention to Carlisle.

I only hear a string of words in the subdued commotion. Something went wrong.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Thank you for all of the reviews! The next two chapters of _Turning Back_ are done, so updates should come very quickly. Thanks for reading!

* * *

I try and gather my wits, force my ears to hear the conversation around me, but my hands will not stop shaking, and I suddenly can't breathe in the small room. I close my eyes, lean my head against the wall and count my breaths, hoping they will come deeper. Slower. I cannot run from this room and abandon my family. And I will not faint, not when Edward has more important unconscious people to deal with.

"Bella." A deep voice and a hot hand on my shoulder. "Are you alright?"

I look up into Sam's face, and he slowly comes into focus.

"Do you need to sit down?"

"What?" I stammer. "Um, no, I'm ok." I grab his arm to steady myself as the dizziness begins to clear. "Thanks."

"Bella." Another warm voice, less deep, from a figure sitting next to Carlisle on the cot.

I turn to him, the steadiness of my legs returning. "Yes, Edward?"

"Can you get another bag of fluids for me? They're in the cooler, in the kitchen."

"Of course." I grip the door frame, using it to propel me into the living room.

"Get yourself together, Bella," I say under my breath as I move quickly through the room towards the small, sparse kitchen. Finding the cooler, I grab a bag of fluids and return to the bedroom, handing them to Edward. I retreat back to the wall, near the door, not sure that I trust my legs to be close to such important medical equipment.

Now that my ears are working, I begin listening to the voices in the room.

"It was fast," Jasper explains. "I mean, it worked quickly on you, Edward, but with Carlisle, it was instant. He had barely taken one swallow, and Esme and half the pack had to grab him before he ran off."

"Edward, it was horrible," Esme's voice cracks, and Edward's face crumples for a split second before resuming a doctor's calm facade. "It was like...he wasn't even Carlisle. He was so violent." Her eyes go wide, and she swallows before continuing. "He fought so hard for several hours, but after that, he just...he just gave up, he wouldn't move...I don't think he could hear us." She presses her lips together, unable to continue.

"He just went slack," Jasper continues. "We didn't know...we didn't know if he had _died_, or... But thank, God, he began to stir after the first day, when...the pain started. Fortunately, he didn't seem to be in as much pain as you were, Edward." He lays a hand gingerly on Alice's forehead. "Or Alice was."

"Alice is...doing alright?" I murmur.

"Yes, she's stable," Edward answers, giving me a small smile. He places a clip on Carlisle's finger and adjusts several dials on a machine resting on the bedside table. A rapid beeping fills the room.

Carlisle's heartbeat.

"That sounds fast..." Sam mutters.

Edward looks at him sharply. "It is. It's more rapid than I'd like." A flash of panic moves into his eyes, but it's quickly gone, and he continues calmly.

"I'm concerned." Edward looks around the room at our tense faces. "His heart rate is high, and he's hyperventilating. I'm concerned he's going into shock."

"What can we do for him?" Esme asks, her voice trembling.

"I can give him IV fluids, but he may need a blood transfusion. If his respiratory rate remains elevated, he may need his breathing controlled with a respirator."

"You can do that here?" I ask surprised.

"No...I don't have...we hoped it wouldn't be necessary."

"What are you saying, Edward?" Esme says quickly, her voice barely audible. She crushes Carlisle's hand to her chest.

"I don't have the supplies, nor enough power in this cabin to run an artificial respirator." He pauses. "We would need to get Carlisle to a hospital."

"Well, then what are we waiting for?" Emmett shoots across the room as if he intends to lift Carlisle into his arms that second and run him back to Forks.

"Wait." Jasper is in front of his brother, his hand braced against Emmett's chest in the time it takes a single beep to be emitted from Carlisle's machine. "I don't know if that's a good idea."

"What do you mean?" Emmett exclaims, disbelieving, shoving Jasper's hand away. "You heard what Edward said. This is Carlisle's _life_, Jasper."

"I know, Emmett. We all care about Carlisle. I'm just saying let's wait and think things through," he says calmly, placing his hand back on Emmett's chest. Emmett drops his shoulders slightly. "Aro and his guards are out there. We take a risk moving around too much. We're blind." He glances pointedly at Alice.

"But so are they," Emmett sneers. "Demetri's no help to them, now."

"Sure, but they have other methods of tracking. These guys Aro's brought with him are hunters. The best he's trained."

Emmett's golden eyes light up with conviction. "Yeah, but they'll startsearching for us here, out in the woods, not in Forks. And we've got a head start on them. They've just arrived in town."

Jasper breathes as if to respond, then purses his lips, saying nothing.

"Emmett's got a good point, there."

All six heads whip in Sam's direction, and his eyes shift in embarrassment as all the attention is drawn to him. The beeping in the room marks off the seconds as no one speaks.

"What?" Sam holds up his hands in defense. "He does. Carlisle was friends with this Aro, right? I don't think Aro expects you guys to cross him. I mean, why would you? What have you got to hide? He thinks you'll be where Demetri said you'll be." Sam shrugs. "Seems simple enough to me."

Emmett cautiously extends a hand to Sam, his fingers open and outstretched, looking for a handshake. Sam furrows his brow, then takes it.

"Well said," Emmett says warmly, confidently.

"Thanks," Sam mutters, finally catching Emmett's contagious grin and letting a small smile grace his lips.

"Wait. I'm confused," I stutter. "First, we decide it's safer to stay out here, _away _from Forks, and now we're saying the woods are dangerous?"

"Maybe we were foolish to think Aro's men won't scour this area," Edward says forcefully. "Perhaps it _is_ wise to change our location."

"Not Forks, though," Jasper argues, returning to crouch next to Alice's cot. "It's too risky. If they don't find us here, they're going to return to Forks. That's a given. And they know Carlisle's a doctor there. They'd try the hospital."

Edward nods. "Port Angeles, then. It's closer anyways."

"What about Alice?" Jasper asks, his voice cracking. "Is it safe to move her?" His eyes plead with Edward.

"Yes, I think it is. An hour of fluids will help both of them, and then we move."

"Score. I love it when _my_ plan gets picked," Emmett says as he slips his arm around Rosalie's waist.

She rolls her eyes.

* * *

As I pace the shabby floor boards of the cabin's living room, I try to spend the next hour _not_ imagining the Volturi discovering our hiding place.

_They wear long, black cloaks with hoods covering their faces. The front door of the cabin bangs open, and they swoop in, gliding on air. Moonlight reflects off glistening, pale fingers as a single hand emerges from a dark cloak, reaching for Edward as he throws himself in front of me. Aro joins the onslaught, chuckling in the background, his fingertips pressed together and red eyes shimmering with amusement as he spurs his guard forward, pitting them against Edward. _

I shudder and pace faster.

In another scenario, I picture them as Hollywood SWAT guys, decked out in full-body black, wielding AK-47's or some other gun I don't know the name of. The door bangs open, and I turn to see Emmett shaking with laughter next to me. He grabs the first guy by his bullet-proof vest and cargo belt and hurls him back out the open front door, right into the rest of the team gathered on the front porch. They collapse like dominoes.

This one I like, although I know it could not be farther from the truth. If only guns were the worst weapons the Volturi could threaten us with.

"Bella." Edward grips my shoulders and turns me to face him. I didn't even realize he was near me.

"I've been calling your name. Are you alright?"

I swallow and try to move my head in some way that will resemble a nod.

Edward squints his eyes, looking at me skeptically. "Is your imagination running away with you again?"

I nod.

He slowly moves his hands down my arms to grip my hands. "Bella, I've been thinking about this, and I don't want you in Port Angeles with us," he says with determination.

My eyes widen in alarm and I open my mouth to protest.

Edward ignores this and continues. "I want Sam to take you with him back to La Push. He's leaving at the same time, and you'll be safer there. The werewolves are protecting the reservation, and they'll look out for you."

I make another indignant sound that Edward ignores.

"I don't know what's going to happen once we start moving, and with Carlisle not doing well, I can't worry about you, too." His green eyes are insistent, and he cups my face in his hands. "Bella, _please._"

I stare into Edward's face for a moment before gently prying his fingers from my cheeks. I take a few steps backward, away from him. "I can't, Edward. I'm sorry. I'm not leaving you," I say with determination, holding my ground. "Whatever happens to you, well it's just going to have to happen to me, too. I'm not going to hide in La Push while everyone else risks their lives."

Edward sighs and hangs his head, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Why is it that the more I try and keep you safe, the more you fight me?" He looks up, his frustration quickly building to anger. "This isn't easy for me Bella, not being strong enough to protect you," he blurts out.

His tone sparks a reaction from me, and I feel my anger rise to the surface, making my face hot. "Well, it isn't easy for me to still be treated like some delicate thing, when I'm not the only one in danger anymore, Edward. Alice is in danger. Carlisle is in danger. _You're_ in danger. You think it doesn't scare me that you're just as fragile as I am? Just as breakable?" My voice quivers, and I feel angry tears burn my eyes. "Have you ever thought that being helpless to protect you is just as unbearable for me? Have you?"

His eyes soften, and he reaches out to me, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I haven't thought about that, Bella. It's hard for me to think about anything other than keeping you safe."

I take a tentative step in his direction. "Well, you need to start thinking about keeping yourself safe, too, Mr. Cullen." Another small step. "I can't lose you." My voice is thick with tears.

"Please come here," he pleads, opening his arms further.

I step into the circle of his arms, desperate for comfort.

* * *

Luckily the woods and the night give us cover until we reach the outskirts of the Port Angeles. Another stroke of good luck puts the hospital just a mile from the city limits, a distance the vampires feel comfortable running, keeping to dark alleys and empty streets.

We stop in the shadows just beyond the lights of the emergency entrance, hidden behind an ambulance. The lot is deserted and quiet, only a few city sounds in the distance. Esme gently releases Carlisle from her arms, holding him upright on his feet. His head rolls back, and I see that his lips are incredibly pale. Edward moves forward to help support him, checking his pulse.

As Rosalie drops me from her back, I turn to Jasper and Alice. He's still cradling her in his arms. It won't shock the hospital staff to see Jasper carrying Alice through the doors, although they might think twice seeing a woman of Esme's small stature carrying Carlisle. Best not to draw attention to ourselves.

Supporting Carlisle, Edward and Esme begin to walk around the side of the ambulance, toward the circle of light thrown from the entrance lamps. I start to follow, but a hiss stops me in my tracks.

It's Jasper.

Still cradling Alice, Jasper is looking pointedly at Emmett and Rosalie, then to Esme, and the four of them whip their heads in the direction of the darkness behind us. They freeze like statues, their chins tilted upwards as if they're catching a scent. Jasper turns to the others, his lips moving unbelievably fast, but I don't hear a sound.

I stop breathing.

_Jasper. _I watch Edward mouth his brother's name.

Jasper is in front of me in an instant, lowering Alice to her feet. I reach out to steady her. He brings his mouth to my ear so fast it makes me gasp in surprise.

"They're here."

My heart stops. I find Edward's face, and he's staring at me desperately, eyes wide in fear as Emmett gives him the same information. As if in slow motion, I watch his chest rise and fall. Rise and fall.

"Take Alice inside. Tell her I love her. We're going to run for it, draw them away from you."

They're gone in the time it takes me to blink. Unconscious Alice is sagging in my arms, and with trembling arms, I hoist her small form up, securing her arm around my shoulders and wrapping my other arm around her waist.

"Stay close to me. I love you," Edward whispers as we shuffle towards the entrance. His eyes dart everywhere but to the doors we approach.

The night is so quiet. Too quiet. And I wish for any sound to drown out the pounding in my ears. The emergency room doors slide open with a loud swish, and I'm suddenly accosted with the smell of alcohol and the glare of fluorescent lights. The woman at the reception desk lifts a phone to her ear as soon as she sees us, and two gurneys appear out of nowhere. A man and a woman in scrubs take Alice from me, laying her on the gurney. I take her hand, but they say something about needing to take her, a pat on the shoulder, and _you can see her soon, wait here please_. I reach for Edward's hand instead, and he squeezes it, hard. I hear snippets of Edward's voice, explaining things to the attendants--..._shock...doctor...sodium bicarb...one liter IV..._-- other words that mean little to me. I still only hear Jasper's hushed whisper.

_They're here._


	11. Chapter 11

My body helps me get Alice into the hospital and then shuts down. Everything shuts down. I don't remember Edward leading me into the waiting room, but now we huddle next to each other in vinyl covered chairs, his arm locked around my shoulders, my hands reaching across our bodies to grip the front of his hooded sweatshirt.

My white knuckles begin to throb, and I loosen my grip somewhat, stealing a glance at Edward. His jaw is rigid, tense, eyes glaring at the double doors that took Carlisle and Alice. I briefly wonder if we look alarming to anyone, but a glance around at the harrowed faces and wringing hands scattered through the drab room, tells me we're not. There are a lot of scared people in a hospital waiting room in the middle of the night.

An entirely too-cheerful doctor finds us quickly, and we're led in to see Carlisle and Alice. Carlisle's reputation proceeds him, and the young kid can't stop blabbering on about how Carlisle was such an inspiration during his residency, such an exceptional...

"Thank you, Dr. Kochevar," Edward says curtly, interrupting him mid-sentence. He simultaneously pulls me closer into his side.

The guy huffs and leaves.

Something about seeing Carlisle and Alice safely hooked up to machines in a fancy hospital room eases my tension. Although I know hospital security could do absolutely nothing to stop him, I have trouble picturing a hooded Aro here underneath the warm lights, among the humans, away from his gloomy, lavish throne.

I may also just be utterly exhausted, the endless fear numbing my brain into a false sense of safety.

"He's warm, now," I mutter, taking Carlisle's hand. I feel Edward at my back. He places his hands on my hips and kisses the back of my head.

"The blood transfusion helped."

"You handled this really well. I'm proud of you," I press my back closer against him.

Edward sighs, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I'm serious," I say, "I just shut down. You're good at this whole doctor thing."

Alice is warm, too and peaceful. Remembering Jasper's message, I lean down to whisper in her ear, although I have no doubt she knows his feelings well enough already.

As I straighten, my head spins, and I grab the railing on Alice's bed to steady myself.

"You should rest, Bella," Edward murmurs, cradling me to his chest. "They'll bring in a cot. We can set it up next to Alice's bed, by the window."

"What about you?" I slur, eyes already drifting closed against his chest.

"I'll watch over you. I won't leave your side."

* * *

The room is still dim when I open my eyes. Looking at my watch I realize it's around dawn, but the only light in the room comes from a small lamp next to Carlisle's bed. The sunrise must be blocked by the heavy curtains.

I immediately sit up, searching for Edward.

"I'm here, love," he says from a chair in the corner, close to the foot of the cot.

I swing my legs to the ground, stand and stretch. I groan against the stiffness in my joints. With a small smile at what must be my mussed appearance, Edward opens his arms, and I settle on to his lap.

"You can sleep, now, I'm very awake," I mumble, stifling a yawn.

"Yes, you seem _very_ awake," Edward softly laughs into my hair.

I cup his face in my hands, then run my hands through his soft, messy hair. His eyes are half-closed and puffy.

"More awake than you," I say, as I stand and pull him with me. He fights very little as I pull him to the cot, make him lie down and cover him with the scratchy blue hospital blanket. His eyes are already closed as I kiss his hair and move back to the chair.

"Bella." He lifts himself up on to one elbow, his worn face very serious. "Don't leave this room, please."

I nod, anything to get him to relax and get some much needed rest.

"And I just need to close my eyes for awhile. Don't let me sleep more than fifteen minutes," he mumbles, pulling the blanket up to his chin.

Fifteen minutes pass, and I don't have the heart to wake him. He normally looks so peaceful in his sleep, but not now. His eyebrows are knitted together, and his eyeballs move frantically underneath his lids.

My eyelids are heavy, and as much as I try to pry them open, they have minds of their own, intent on betraying me.

I need coffee.

With a quick glance at Edward, I tiptoe to the door, peer in both directions as if preparing to cross the street. No figures in black cloaks. This is good.

I find the nurse's station, and she gives me directions to a vending machine. _Down this hallway, make a left, go through the double doors, first right..._Hefty directions for vending machine coffee.

I mouth the nurse's directions silently as I follow them, but it doesn't take long for me to confuse rights for lefts and firsts for seconds. I'm lost. I seem to have wandered into a wing of the hospital currently undergoing some renovations.

I let loose an exasperated sigh. Of course I manage to fumble through something as simple as getting coffee.

I turn a final corner, desperately hoping to find the machines. Instead I find myself in another empty hallway. Two abandoned gurneys are unceremoniously stashed against one wall, and one of the fluorescent lights flickers and buzzes in a feeble attempt to stay lit. The pale walls and generic linoleum floor still feel like a hospital, but a hospital out of that Twilight Zone where the entire human population disappears overnight.

I'm very alone.

But a million times worse than that, I've left Edward alone. He swore to not leave my side while I slept, and at my first opportunity, I abandoned him.

_What was I thinking?_

I turn to retrace my steps, adrenalin suddenly making it painfully easy to stay awake. I fight back the panic that the Volturi are here, tormenting Edward as I fumble around in abandoned hallways.

"They don't know we're here. If they did, they would have showed up long ago. Edward is fine, Edward is fine," I sputter, hoping it will keep my anxious, muddled brain focused on finding my way back to the hospital room. It also fills the deserted hallway with something other than crushing silence.

I walk a little faster.

I turn down a hallway to my left, but hit a dead end. Double doors, with construction tape plastered in an "X" across them, barring the way. A picture of Edward, innocently curled up on the cot flashes across my mind. A hooded figure leans over him.

_Why did I leave him?_

I turn around, but my vision goes blurry, and I reach out a steadying hand to the wall. I didn't even realize the angry tears had spilled over. I rub my eyes roughly. With my other hand, I feel my way along the wall to return to the main hall. Once there, I pick another hallway blindly, beyond the ability think clearly, coherently. I take a few steps in the new direction.

"Are you lost, dear?"

Even before I turn around to face the voice, relief pours through my body like a torrential downpour. _Thank you thank you thank you._

"I am," I turn, blinking rapidly to clear my vision. "I'm just trying to get back to..."

My voice stops, skids, crashes into the brick wall that is the person standing before me.

_It can't be. Not with Edward so close...not with Carlisle, Alice..._

The pleasant smile plastered on his face is more scary to me than any sneer. He's wearing a simple black suit and white collared shirt, no sweeping cloak, and his long black hair is pulled into a ponytail at the nape of his neck. His skin is less pale, as if he's put on make-up to try and darken it, and he's put in brown contacts to hide the color of his eyes.

Aro looks at me expectantly, as if he thinks his warm smile is supposed to put me at ease. He wants me to say something.

Jane and Demetri slink to Aro's side, their disguises blending with his.

"Hello." I feel my lips move and hear the rush of a small breath past my lips. I clear my throat. "Hello," I say more loudly, wrapping my arms around my own waist to hide the shaking. My eyes dart to the hallway to my left.

In the time it takes my eyes to return to Aro, Jane is crouched at my side, much closer than I would have liked, blocking the hallway. Her snarl echoes off the bare walls.

"That's enough," Aro snaps, and Jane straightens from her crouch and takes a few steps backwards, narrowing her eyes at me. Aro turns back to face me, but it takes him a second to replace the friendly mask.

"We mean you no harm, Bella." Aro's small smile widens, stretching the taut skin of his face but avoiding his eyes. "We simply want to talk with you. Although I must admit, I was hoping to speak to both you and your Edward."

His sweet, innocent smile following Edward's name brings on more panic. I don't like him referring to Edward. I don't like him thinking about Edward.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you," I muster, "But I haven't seen Edward in...months. We...broke up...I broke up with him a few months ago."

Aro laughs softly, as if he's teasing me. "I doubt a divorce could be finalized so quickly. I hope married life has been everything you dreamed it would be and more."

Aro begins to pace, calm but menacing, like a pompous lawyer divulging some juicy tidbit to a jury. "I imagine Edward has been very attentive to your needs, although it is rather surprising to see that you're still human, despite our _understanding_."

"I decided...not to become a vampire. Edward wanted to change me, but I...I wouldn't let him..."

"Enough!" Aro stops pacing and glares at me, all traces of pleasantries gone, and I see the powerful vampire that created an empire.

I bite my lip to keep it from quivering.

"My dear, Bella." He tries to reign in his temper, but I can feel it seething beneath the surface. "I may not be privy to your mind, but your face is an open book. Edward is here. There is no question. Your mere presence and stammering lies give away his whereabouts. Of course you want to protect him. I _understand _that."

"I...I'm not protecting him," I stumble. "How could I? I'm nothing but a useless human."

"Useless." Aro narrows his eyes, hearing something in my words that intrigues him. "I doubt that, my dear. Weak, helpless, stubbornly foolish, maybe, but not...useless. I imagine you have been quite useful to the Cullens."

His words confuse me. Could he possibly...? _No, there's no way he could know. If he did, I don't think we'd still be standing here talking. _

"I don't know...I don't understand what you mean."

In an instant he is right in front of me. I can feel the chill of his skin in the air between us and smell the alluring scent of a predator. It's sweet, like Edward's was, but _too_ sweet. It turns my stomach and makes me dizzy. "You hide them."

"Wh..what?" I stammer, swallowing forcefully to stem the nausea. I don't have to fake my confusion.

"Do not insult me, Bella," Aro sneers. His arm snaps forward and grips my elbow. I let out a small cry of pain.

He stands motionless, tightening the grip on my arm, his eyes directed at me but unfocused. I realize he's trying to read my mind.

After a moment, he drops my arm and turns his back to me. He sighs heavily.

"I apologize," he says, calmly, still facing away from me. "My patience has worn very thin over the past two days. I trusted Carlisle implicitly, and the loss of that friendship has hurt me more than I imagined." He chuckles softly. "I deluded myself into thinking you were hiding the Cullens from Demetri's view. But I see now how foolish that idea was. You are still human, after all, yet you remain an anomaly." He's completely still, but I catch a flicker of movement as his fists clench. "Weak, yet able to bend the will of vampires. Mysterious, yet vividly transparent. Stubborn, yet unsure. You are both fascinating and infuriating in the same moment."

"I get that a lot, actually," I mutter.

This elicits a laugh from Aro, and he turns to face me. "I feel a certain amount of affection for you, Bella, I cannot deny that. You are fairly charming. But I cannot tolerate disobedience, do you understand?"

I'm expected to nod, so I do.

"I know you are aware of the Cullen's disappearance, but I also know you have no intention of telling me where they are. Unfortunately, it appears I will not be able to find them without their consent." He flashes a withering glare at Demetri. "But that does not mean they will escape without losing something precious to them. You would sacrifice anything to protect them, yes?"

I nod again, hoping to get some points for honesty.

"Perhaps then, I might interest you in a trade?"

"A trade?" I whisper, confused.

"It's rather cliche, really." Aro smiles. "Your life for theirs."

I swallow audibly. "You mean to kill me, then."

Shock moves across Aro's face. "Bella, my dear, of course not. Such a waste." He shakes his head in disbelief. "You will join us."

Aro's demand moves through me swiftly, strengthening my dead limbs and filling my shallow lungs with air. I know I should be terrified, but I feel calm, certain. "Of course," I whisper.

"You are willing, then?" Aro asks, genuinely intrigued by my answer, although I know I have no real choice.

"Yes."

"Willing to relinquish your regular human existence for a life not by your lover's side, but by ours?"

His words bring a giant lump into my throat, but I force it away. It it beyond painful to imagine an existence without Edward, but Aro must believe I'm willing to give Edward up. "Yes," is all I can manage.

Aro looks at me skeptically. "I underestimated your devotion to him. It seems as if you would sacrifice anything to keep him safe."

In a heartbeat, he's right in front of me, and I stumble back a step as I recoil from his closeness.

"Wait, now?" I sputter.

"I don't see a reason to wait, do you?" His tone is friendly, conversational, as if he's asking whether we should delay a vacation, a trip to the movies, something mundane, unexceptional.

His shifting moods leave me reeling, dashing my futile efforts to stay one step ahead in this game.

"I...no, I guess. I just don't understand the rush. I mean, you have my word. My...compliance for their safety, right?" I can't believe I'm actually trying to bargain with this vampire.

This time Aro's smile reaches his eyes. "You can trust me, Bella. They will not be harmed, as long as you fulfill your end of the deal." His eyes narrow. "I hope you are as eager to join us when Edward is here, begging you to stay with him."

My heart slams against my ribs as the realization hits me. "That's why you want to do it now. You want him to come. You think it will draw him out."

"I'm counting on it," he snarls.

"But you won't touch him," I say forcefully, raising my voice louder than I meant to.

He leans closer, gripping my elbows in his freezing hands. "You have my word."

I feel his nauseating breath on my neck just before his teeth. The bite is quick.

His teeth barely graze the skin before the world erupts into chaos.

I'm thrown into the wall, and something snaps. An arm, maybe. I clutch it to my body, blinking rapidly to clear the stars from my eyes as I try to sit up. I make it to sitting, my back still pressed against the wall, but only a second passes before I'm doubled over, coughing uncontrollably as the air fills with plaster dust, bits of paint. It burns my lungs.

And the sound. The sound is deafening. Snarls, unearthly growls over the smash of wood, the scream of steal bending.

The ground shudders beneath me, and I know I should be scared, but I'm not.

_It worked. _

And then I'm falling as the floor gives way into darkness, and my stomach rises into my throat against gravity.


	12. Chapter 12

"Bella! Bella! I'm coming!"

Someone is yelling at me in the darkness, but their voice is muffled as if there are walls between us. There's a sharp pain in my chest every time I breathe, and my leg is definitely pinned. Something tears as I try to move it.

I groan.

The voice gasps. The sound comes from above me, still through layers of twisted, broken building. "She's alive, Edward!" he shouts. "I'm going to get her."

The sharp cracks of splintering wood and high-pitched screeching of metal from somewhere high above are suddenly much closer in the darkness. The heavy something crushing my leg is lifted, just as light and air rush into my lungs. I can see again, but the light is blinding, and I keep my eyes closed. I feel like I'm breathing through a straw despite the fresh air.

"Bella, I've got you," the voice says, as arms swiftly lift me out of the rubble.

"Emmett, it worked," I murmur against his shoulder. It hurts to talk.

He laughs. "Yeah, it sure did kiddo. You're kind of a badass."

Cool hands turn to warm ones, as I feel myself passed into another set of arms.

"I've got you," he whispers, his voice breaking.

"Edward?" I want to put my arms around his neck, but I can't move them. I force my heavy eyelids open, but they immediately drift closed again. My head lolls back. I'm so heavy.

"No! Bella, stay with me. I need you to stay conscious."

He lowers me on to something hard, like a board, and I moan at the loss of his arms.

"Edward?" I try to call out, but I've already slipped away.

* * *

My next memory is of shimmering, green eyes. They blur in and out of focus, but they're always there, pouring over me. They're unfathomably deep, like an endless fern-filled woods, but not so dark and empty. Like arctic ocean water, but not cold. These eyes are warm, like home, like curling up in blankets while it rains. They sparkle like an emerald, but not glassy, lifeless. They're impossible to describe.

"Your eyes are really pretty," I hear myself croak.

A crooked smile. "I think that's the morphine talking." And his lips brush against my forehead.

* * *

I feel a warm body pressed against my side before I even open my eyes. In my half-conscious state, I feel him with alarming clarity. His breath rustles the hair at my neck, his warm hand grips my shoulder, his toes curl at my ankle, rubbing slow circles into my bones there. He leans in, nuzzles the skin below my ear.

"Are you awake?" Edward whispers softly.

I slowly open my eyes and let them adjust to the bright room. I have to blink a few times before my eyes will focus.

I need to see his face, and I turn to find his head resting next to me on the pillow.

My throat burns, and I try to swallow before speaking. "Tell me you're alright...that Carlisle and Alice are safe..." The words are scratchy and hoarse.

"Everyone is safe," he says strongly, placing a soft kiss on my lips.

I feel like I could rest for ages, never get out of this bed as long as Edward is here next to me.

My eyes flutter closed, and I'm asleep again.

* * *

I wake up fully some immeasurable time later. The room is mostly dark, with a little pale light beginning to creep around the edges of the curtains. Edward is still next to me, although this time his arm is secured around my waist, his lips at my temple. His slow breathing tells me he's asleep.

I hate to wake him, so I take a quiet, internal inventory of my body. It still feels heavy, but the pain has a dull, medicated edge to it. An arm and a leg are in casts, and I feel forced to take shallow breaths, like my lungs are having trouble expanding. It's not too uncomfortable though. The heat of Edward's body is soothing, and I feel it calling me to lean into him and sleep more.

A slight jostling in the mattress catches my eyes before they fully close. Edward is waking up, and he slowly raises himself on to one elbow.

"Bella?" His groggy voice is tentative, hopeful.

I smile up at him. I decide that I adore sleepy Edward, with his disheveled hair and half-lidded eyes. Precious, innocent and seductive without meaning to be.

He smiles, too, and leans down to kiss me gently, barely brushing my lips as if I might shatter into a million pieces. He places slow, sweet kisses against my lips, the corner of my mouth, my cheeks. He's leaving me room to breathe, I know, but all I can really breathe is him. With him here, there's barely room for regular, old air in my broken lungs.

At one point, he pulls back, his hand gently cupping my face in concern. "Are you alright? Do you need anything?" he murmurs.

"Just more of you," I whisper.

"That I can manage," he smiles. "You're not in pain? Carlisle asked them to increase your morphine dose."

"Carlisle?"

Edward nods, his lips curving into a small smile.

I close my eyes in relief.

"I'll let you rest." He rises so that he's sitting on the edge of the bed.

"No!" I say a little too loudly, and I wince at the sharp pain in my throat. "I mean, no," I continue much more quietly, reaching for his hands with my one good one. "I feel like I've been sleeping my life away. I want to hear what happened."

"I think you know better than the rest of us, Bella. You were there." His eyes take on that haunted quality, like he's a million miles away, not safe with me here in this hospital bed.

"But I'm here now, Edward," I whisper, gripping his hands fiercely. "I'm right here."

"And in the hospital, no less. What did I tell you about pulling any crazy heroics while I was unconscious?" A light voice chastises me, as a small figure walks slowly into the dim room.

"Alice!" My heart bursts in relief.

She stands on the opposite side of the bed from Edward, smiling down at me. Other figures appear in the room, gathering around the bed. My family. Safe.

"Watch out, I think she's going to cry again," Emmett warns.

Rosalie elbows him in the ribs. "Don't harass her. I think she deserves to do just about anything she wants after that crazy stunt." Rosalie gives me a small smile. It floors me. I'm not used to her support, but it's nice.

"Do you feel up for talking a little about what happened, Bella?" Carlisle asks from Alice's side. "It can certainly wait if you'd rather rest."

"No, I'm fine."

No one says anything.

"Um, should I start? I don't really know where to begin."

"How about the part where you abandoned Edward, Carlisle and I and went wandering through the hospital?" Alice says, but I can tell from her eyes that she's teasing.

"That's not funny, Alice. I feel really bad about that."

"Well, you should!" she laughs.

"I just needed some coffee," I grumble. "I was having a hard time staying awake."

"You should have woken me up," Edward says gently, but I can tell he's trying to hide how much my decision upset him.

"Maybe, Edward," Esme smiles. "But if Aro would have found the four of you in that room, things would have transpired very differently. We most certainly would not all be standing here today. It's rather lucky Bella decided to get coffee in that moment."

I explain about getting lost and running into Aro, Jane and Demetri, trying to summarize our conversation the best I can.

"So Aro didn't have any suspicions about what had happened to us?" Carlisle asks.

"No, he had no idea. He wanted to change me. We made a deal..."

"Wait." Edward's eyebrows raise in surprise. "You made a deal with Aro?" He shakes his head in disbelief. "I don't see why I'm surprised. I've seen your bargaining power." He smiles weakly.

"I'm ruthless," I tease back.

"Cut-throat." His smiles grows. "What was the deal exactly?"

My grin falls as I sober, remembering the horrible prospect of the life I had agreed to. "My...service for your life. I said I would join them--the Volturi--even if you begged me to stay. And in exchange, Aro wouldn't hurt you. Wouldn't hurt anyone else." I look out at the people scattered around me.

The silence grows between us.

"Your life for ours," Edward whispers darkly.

"That was the idea."

I try desperately to meet Edward's eyes, to bring him back to me, but he's staring down at our clutched hands. "You knew what would happen when Aro bit you," he says as he finally raises his eyes to mine.

"I knew what I hoped would happen. I thought since Carlisle had such a strong reaction, Aro's would be even stronger since he's an even older vampire."

"You were right, of course," Jasper admits quietly. "When he lost control, he demolished that wing of the hospital."

Edward takes a deep, shaky breath and lets it out slowly. "And it collapsed right on top of you."

I'm lost in Edward's pained eyes as I hear Jasper speak again. "There was probably very little Jane or Demetri could do to stop him."

This breaks some sort of trance, and I start to panic. "Wait! Jane and Demetri--where are they? Wh-what happened?"

"Jasper." Edward's voice is demanding, but his eyes don't leave my face. I immediately feel a gigantic wave of calm settle over me, so much so that it makes me a little giddy and I laugh to myself.

"Wow, who needs morphine when we've got you," I chuckle.

"Sorry," Jasper smiles. "That was a little much."

"The Volturi have left Washington, Bella," Carlisle says. "If Aro's change was at all similar to mine, the initial violent outburst in response to the antidote would have quickly waned, making it possible for Jane and Aro to restrain him. I imagine they left rather quickly in order to avoid drawing attention to themselves." He pauses, introspective, his voice quiet. "I think Aro is dead. I only survived because I received such prompt medical care," he says with a nod to Edward. "But Jane and Demetri will not be as prepared," he says, his voice a little thick with sadness.

Edward raises his eyebrows at Carlisle, obviously surprised at his remorse.

"I do not mourn the loss of Aro. Our family is safe, and that is what matters most. But we cannot deny his power, the ruling force that he created." Carlisle explains. "I only hope this does not cause chaos in the vampire world. Chaos that then spills into ours."

_Ours._ Our world. The human world.

"Whatever," Emmett shrugs. "If any vampire tries to bite me while I'm human, I'll still kick their..."

"Ok, that's enough." Rosalie rolls her eyes, but they sparkle a little in amusement.

Silence settles over us, and I feel my eyes drawn back to Edward, but he's not looking at me. His eyes are locked with his father's, and simultaneously, their gazes shift to Esme.

If I didn't know better, it would seem as if Edward is reading minds again.

Esme looks back at them, smiles, and then turns her face to Jasper, who is lingering behind Alice, next to my bed. He nods solemnly, then fixes his attention on Emmett and Rosalie, standing at my feet.

Emmett wraps his arms around Rosalie's waist, kissing her softly on the cheek before they both raise their eyes to me. I look around the room and see seven pairs of eyes fixed on me, expectant, waiting.

"What," I murmur. "Why is everyone staring at me?"

I find Edward's face, and he smiles. "They wanted to make sure you were going to be alright, Bella," he says softly, "before they--"

"Oh!" I exclaim softly, suddenly interpreting the watchful stares. "It's time, then," I whisper. "Time for you to change, too," I say, letting my eyes drift over the four remaining vampires.

"No need to worry yourself, Bella," Emmett says as he pats my leg, nonchalantly dismissing the nervousness in my face. "Take care of yourself. We'll see you in a few days."

The rest of my family takes turns saying goodbye. Alice rolls her eyes when I get all weepy, and with a pointed look at Jasper, the tears promptly stop and I feel calm like the rest of them.

Soon, it's just Edward and I alone together, him still perched on the edge of the bed. The repetitive motion of his hand smoothing the hair from my forehead pulls me into a state of peaceful drowsiness. My eyes start to drift close.

"Bella, I know you need to sleep," he whispers, "but there are some things I need to say to you."

I force my eyes open. "Ok," I whisper back. "I'm ready."

"Are you awake?"

"Hmmm? Very." I smile.

He leans down, so that his lips are right at my ear. It sends shivers down my sleepy body. "You saved our lives." He kisses my temple and lets his lips linger there. "Thank you."

* * *

_To be continued with an Epilogue..._

* * *

A/N: Thank you to all you have read and commented over the past months as I've painstakingly finished this story. It has certainly been a wonderful journey for me, and I hope you've enjoyed it as well!

The Epilogue is going to be mighty different..It'll be from Edward's point of view and take a peak at their lives in the future. I want to write it SOON, but real life is going to get in the way very shortly and steal me away (although not completely) from the Twilight fandom. I will do my best not to keep you waiting too long!

* * *


	13. Chapter 13 Epilogue

**EPOV**

"Uncle Edward!" screeches the blur, as it comes barreling towards me, pink and ruffled stockinged feet sliding on the wood floor. The beauty leaps into my arms, clutching fierce hands to my neck in a death grip reminiscent of her father.

"Happy Birthday, Madison," I laugh into her blond curls before she sees Bella, and she squirms anxiously to be released. Torturing willing family members is a full-time job when one is four years old and afraid of nothing. Bella coos compliments about Madison's princess dress, and the little thing soaks them up like a sponge, gazing at Bella, utterly transfixed. Our niece, nephew and little brother like me, but they adore Bella. When they're with her, they are the most important people in the world.

Madison lets Bella hold her attention a few more moments, and then she has things to do. She hurries off to announce our arrival to the rest of the family.

I use the moment alone to pull Bella into my side, unable to resist the pull of her mouth, the taste of her. She kisses me back, very willingly, and we are lost in one another until I feel her smile against my lips, and I pull back to look at her.

"You're insatiable," she laughs, her eyes growing wide. "Not that I'm complaining, but it is a little risque, making out like teenagers with children present."

I pull her closer, feel the slight thickening of her stomach against mine. I resist snaking my hands under her shirt to roam across her belly. "They're not technically present. I'm sure everyone is out back."

Her breathy laugh is lovely as she brings her lips back to mine, kissing me fully, her mouth open and wonderful. My mind wanders to the warm, tangled sheets we left back home.

"Ahem."

An exasperated sound that could only come from one person.

Bella pulls away sheepishly, fingertips pressed to her slightly swollen lips, her cheeks red.

"You'd think getting pregnant would make you two a little more, you know, presentable," Alice teases, her eyes bright and mischievous. "You're going to have to be role models. No making out and grossing out Edward junior."

"Alice..." Bella rolls her eyes, simultaneously jabbing her sister-in-law in the stomach with a finger.

"Bella..." Alice says mockingly, dramatically rolling her eyes before pulling Bella into a hug. The two women laugh as they begin walking into the house towards the backyard, arms around each other.

I remain in the entry way, listening to the tinkling of their laughter drift outside.

* * *

It was never easy, not for any of us. Everything changed in an instant, but we have traded easy for something real. We have built an existence grounded in life, not death. In change, not stasis. In future, not a constant present. And I would make that trade a million times over. We all would.

In the beginning, after our lives could finally return to some semblance of normal after Aro's death, I would wake up panicked, reeling from a nightmare I could never remember. I only know they left me terrified, and I would wake reaching for Bella, sometimes yelling for her. Bella would always soothe me after these dreams, curling her body against mine, sometimes making love to her trembling, grief-stricken husband if only to distract him.

It didn't take long for Bella to figure out what the nightmares meant.

"You're afraid we're running out of time," she had whispered into my ear one night after a particularly bad episode. I remember the breeze from the open window chilling my sweat-drenched body, making me shiver. I remember trying to clear the lump from my throat, embarrassed by the tears that were suddenly running down my temples at her revelation, soaking my hair. She kissed me then, her own cheeks wet and shimmering in the moonlight, telling me with a burning conviction that nothing could take her away from me, that we would never be apart, even after the inevitable.

I _wanted_ to believe her. I wanted to believe anything that would keep her close to me for a while longer.

Strange that I had once begged her to remain human, completely aware I would be giving up an eternity with her if that was her choice. I did not expect the sudden loss of that forever to leave me terrified.

But our lives evolved; they grew into something infinitely better than forever, full of mundane things like going to work, writing music, curling up on the couch for a movie, her feet tangling with mine, inviting the neighbors over to eat Bella's delicious cooking, making friends, taking walks with her any time we wanted, _wherever_ we wanted. And the nightmares vanished just as quickly as they had come.

This is our forever. It will last as long as it lasts, and afterwards, I will do everything in my power to never leave her.

* * *

The sounds of my family finally draw me out to Rosalie and Emmett's back porch. Reluctant as Madison is to share her birthday with her youngest uncle Lucas, Esme and Carlisle's six-year-old son, it does mean double the celebration, and so she tolerates it. Lucas is generous with his youngest niece, which is evident in the party's decorations--pink streamers and balloons tied to every railing, now glowing orange in the setting sun, bobbing in the late-summer breeze coming off the stretch of Pacific Ocean just beyond the porch. Twinkling lights wrap around the edge of the deck, making the approaching night feel magical. Perhaps it is.

"Hey there, bro." Emmett shakes my hand, pulls me into a one-armed hug.

"Hey," I respond warmly, "Good to see you."

"You, too," he says, his grin wide and honest. "Bella looks radiant. She's practically glowing."

I smile at him, very aware that my wife has never been more beautiful. "She's incredible."

"Any weird cravings yet? Rose's favorite was sauerkraut and pineapple. It can be surprisingly difficult to track down good sauerkraut at the three in the morning, let me tell you."

"No, not yet," I laugh, "although I'm looking forward to it."

"Yeah, I bet you are," he says smiling. "You kids are so happy."

My gaze drifts down to the beach, where I can just see the children running away from the waves, the forms of Alice, Esme, Rosalie and my Bella laughing with them, their feet bare in the sand.

"We all are."

* * *

Alice's phone call comes just as I'm finishing with my last student of the day. I know what she will say as soon as the shrill ringing fills our practice room.

She will tell me Bella is in labor.

The birth is fast. Bella lets a few curses about vampires past her filter, but none of the medical staff, besides Carlisle at my side, take notice of the strange words of a woman in labor. I am mesmerized by her--the effort, the strain, the strength. As our daughter's cry fills the room, I hold my my wife's exhausted, joyous face in my shaking hands. I cannot look anywhere but her. She is my lifeline in this strange new adventure of being a father, and I am suddenly struck with terror of the complete unknown.

_How can a 128 year old man be a good father? _I think. _What if we lose her? What if I hurt her? What if she hates me? I'm too stuffy and overprotective and stuck in my ways. How will I ever change enough to be good for her? What if life cannot be born from death?_

"Edward." Carlisle's soft voice pulls me from my own head, as he holds a small, squirming, crying bundle out to me. "Don't be afraid."

I make sure Bella is settled comfortably against the pillows before turning to my father, taking my daughter into my arms for the first time.

She is as light as feathers and warm. She begins to settle as I hold her, and I watch as her beautiful scrunched red face calms and becomes peaceful. Bella reaches up a hand to touch her and I lower our daughter into the crook of Bella's arms. Bella's face lights up and shimmers as I watch her cradle her daughter. She was willing to give up being a mother to be with me, but in this moment, I am so thankful she did not have to.

I want to crawl into bed with them, wrap my body around them, hold them for hours, but there is a hospital room full of people and beeping monitors watching over this intimate moment. Instead, I stay perched on the side of the bed, my arms as close around the two of them as I can manage. We don't speak as we watch our daughter. I am filled with love that no words can capture, and I see the same awe in Bella's eyes.

"Edward, she's incredible," Bella finally whispers, as our daughter shifts a little and cuddles deeper into Bella's chest.

I nod and swallow the lump in my throat. "Of course she is. She's from you."

My beautiful wife smiles up at me. "She's from us."

_fin_


End file.
